Life Update: After The Storm Comes A Rainbow!

So a few weeks ago I shared this post: Sometimes The Struggle Is Real! Life had become somewhat overwhelming for a number of reasons and I wrote the post as a way of clearing my head and sharing what was going on with us.

That was a few weeks ago and opening this page to start this post I am in a much better place. Thankfully. Things haven't slowed down but things have become more manageable.

In fact we have spent the weekend singing, dancing and celebrating at Brighton Pride with my Mum, two Aunts and sister. It was an amazing weekend and wandering down Brighton pier I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I am surrounded by love and support and when things are tough I know my tribe are there for me.

My wonderful wife is the leader of the tribe, the brightest colour in my rainbow and the best support I could ever ask for.

In the last few weeks I have organised and run a conference for the growing sales team I am part of managing - 32 people at last count! We have launched new content in subjects I haven't had time to get up to speed on but have supported. I have been to different team meetings, met lots of new people and joined in with wider company activities in a away to get myself up to speed with things as quick as possible. The new normal is still a away off but I am working towards it.

And then home and Annabelle. Part of my struggle was because I was missing having time with Annabelle but in the last few weeks I feel like this has started to change, culminating with this weekend and today. This weekend I was able to get plenty of Annabelle time even though there were others that she spent time with. She was on top form and an absolute joy to be around. Today I had the day off and it felt so good - although she had a two hour nap which then left be tidying instead of spending time with her I was still able to enjoy her company, and catch up on Bisbee hugs. I guess naps are necessary sadly!

Annabelle has also been sleeping better so I am less tired. It's amazing what sleep can do for you. I always knew it but having the recent evidence has been eye-opining - or eye closing :)

I honestly don't think we could have handled Pride a few weeks ago. With the amount of house projects and stuff going on in life I think we would have felt too exhausted. However Laura really stepped it up and in the last week we had one of our bathrooms finished, the conservatory/playroom is almost completed - including a newly painted wall courtesy of Laura and the last bits will be down to us instead of workmen which is a really nice feeling.

It meant that the timing of Pride was a great celebration, a celebration of how far my Mum has come in accepting our relationship, a great celebration of being a rainbow family and a great celebration that love is really all you need.

We stayed in Worthing, a 20 minute drive from Brighton. we arrived on Friday, after a three hour drive from Birmingham and three hours of my Mum and Aunt Janette entertaining and feeding Annabelle. My Auntie Karen and sister arrived shortly after and we dined on fish and chips before catching up and bed.

Saturday was a fairly early start so we could get to Brighton, get parked and get to the parade route. We were able to find a spot and spread out on the curb so we could feed Annabelle before the parade arrived. It also meant we could rest our legs from the walk down. Much needed as we then spent two hours enjoying the parade.

After the parade we strolled towards Brighton pier and enjoyed the atmosphere, Annabelle loved watching the sea and we enjoyed the time with people special to us. Powered by doughnuts we made it back to the car and then the house for an evening of games and snacks.

On Sunday we explored Worthing and enjoy the beach front and another meal of fish and chips before heading back to Birmingham.

I don't know if it was the sea air, the rainbows everywhere we looked or just the outpouring of love but Brighton certainly brightened how I am feeling.

Onwards and upwards!

Baby Blogging - Annabelle Turns One!

OMG Annabelle is one!

And we are totes emosh.

How was it a whole year ago that we were sharing this post with our birth announcement and this post about Annabelle's birth story.

Our first year as a family has been incredible. It has been full of the most amazing highs, memories that will make us smile forever and so, so many photos. Every day for 365 days we have found a reason to smile, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes through silliness, sometimes in the face of ridiculousness.

Fighting over a flip flop

There are too many highlights. Too many firsts to keep track of and so many good times.

We've slept more than we expected - thank you Annabelle for loving sleep as much as us. We have asked Google for help more than ever before, top questions being: Hey Google.....
Can a 6,7,8,9,10,11 month old eat......
What temperature is too high/hot?
Is ...... okay?
Is ...... normal?
How do we get a baby to .....?

We have had more fun making food than before. We have watched less TV, we have danced and sung more than we have in 10 years together. Our preparation skills are on point (most of the time) but what we have actually learnt is that we are far more relaxed at parenting that we thought we would be. There are moments that we freak out but in general we let her be independent and find her way.

Annabelle has led us, she led us with her nap schedule, with her sleep training, with her new skills - sitting, eating, standing, crawling, walking. Entertaining her is easy as she loves watching what we are doing and is happy to play by herself.

Annabelle adapted to nursery better than we could have ever hoped - I loved our 9 months together but have seen the positive impact that nursery has had. I wished my return to work had been easier and a little less busy but that's life - see the details here. I still get to see her when I work from home and I have had the wonderful opportunity to take annual leave on most Mondays since being back.

We have travelled - to New York via Dublin, to Norway via Amsterdam, to Scotland and to so many other places in the UK. We've been on planes, on trains and had added so many miles to the car. Through it all there have been challenging moments BUT so many good times, so many moments where we have been amazed at how well Annabelle adapted. Annabelle smiling at passengers on the plane and making people smile back, having an entire tube carriage clapping, making strangers stick out their tongue in the supermarket. Hi-5ing old people everywhere and anywhere, making funny chatting noises on the phone to grandparents. Making anyone get to the floor to chase her to see her laugh. Annabelle is entertainment value.

Annabelle just brings so much joy. To us. To our families. To everyone. She lights up a room. I had always heard that phrase but having Annabelle I truly know what it means. At parties, at family gatherings, when people visit there is always joy wherever Annabelle is.

She is rambunctious, tenacious, determined, strong, funny, cheeky, charming, adorable, clever, stubborn, thoughtful, giving, witty and so much more. She has been so much more than we thought. She has made motherhood so much more fun and had us saying 'we need to have more' on so many occasions - not because she's not enough but because as she grows up and needs us less we will need to have more opportunities to experience this level of love.

Annabelle's hug will make you melt, her raspberries will soak you, her dinner time antics will force you to suppress giggles, her battle cries will make you move quicker than ever before and her kisses will have you fearing for your cheeks. Her smile makes you smile, her laugh will make you want to do anything to hear it again. She'll love on you, play with you and encourage you to build things. She'll show off new skills and applaud herself at every opportunity. You can't miss this kid, when she's around she pulls focus. She's sociable and mischievous. She's easy going and chilled out. She loves the outdoors, other children and dogs - OMG does she love dogs. She really loves Bisbee but really any dog will do.

And now she's one.

How have we only only had 12 months with her and yet how has it been 12 months already?

We have thankfully recovered from the latest trip to the hospital for concussion - I'm surprised we almost made it to a year before our first trip and are celebrating the big day with a trip to the swimming pool and cake. If all goes to plan.

We have learnt so much this year but I personally have learnt how much I need Laura. Our team is so dependent on the incredible woman that is my wife. I have always loved her and appreciated her skills but this year alone she had blown my mind with her incredibleness. She has helped me overcome personal challenges, kept us calm and organised and continued to keep our life on track. Annabelle couldn't have asked for a better Mama and I couldn't have got any luckier doing this life thing with her.

I can not wait to see what the next year holds. Thank you for joining us on the journey so far.....

Review: Fake Festival - Birmingham!

When we were invited to a Fake Festivals as part of a birthday event for a friend we thought she was kidding. It is fair to say that we were completely unaware that Fake Festivals were a BIG thing across the UK.

Just to clarify Fake Festivals are not fake events they are festivals with acts that are tribute/fake versions of bands/artists. Check out the details here.

When we visited the day Fake Festival in Birmingham, held at Kings Heath Park - 10 mins from our home - we were lucky enough to see:

• Flash as Queen
• Vicky Jackson as Pink
• New2 as U2
• The Police Force as The Police
• Stereotonics as Stereophonics
• The Stones as The Rollings Stones

We arrived mid way through The Stones and they were brilliant. The crowd was gathered in a large tent with food vans arranged outside. Thankfully the tent was big enough to accommodate the crowd as the weather was temperamental and we avoid a downpour that started a few minutes after our arrival. 

The festival was promoted as family friendly so we took Annabelle with us. Complete with headphones and maraca our little lady danced along and seemed happy to be part of the crowd.

 

After watching Stereotonics it was then Annabelle's bedtime so we decided to head home as we were so close. We had taken the baby carrier in case we wanted to stay but with the weather, the noise and the 45 minute breaks between acts we thought it was better that she slept in the cot. 

Not before we sampled the pie, mash and mushy pea food truck. They had an AMAZING pulled pork and stuffing pie - well worth a try if you ever see it on a menu!

Thankfully Annabelle's Nanny was able to babysit in the evening so Laura and I could head back to the festival and meet up with our friend for the evening performances. By this time the weather had created a mud pit outside but inside the tent was still dry. 

We aren't U2 fans so weren't sad to miss the act and were glad to be back for Vicky - she was great as Pink. With a set list that covered old and new music the crowd was singing from start to finish. It was nice to remember just how many great songs Pink has had over the years.

Being back on our own made it feel like a date night. Seeing the acts perform made it memorable and singing the songs at full volume made for a fun night. The atmosphere was brilliant and we would definitely recommended the experience. We paid £35 per ticket which seemed like good value for the number of performances we saw. 

Fake Festivals even hold a 3 day festival bringing together plenty of well known acts with camping offered on site. Sadly it is sold out for this summer but it's a good one to note for the future!

Have you ever been to a Fake Festival?

Baby Blogging - My First Month Back At Work After A Baby!

Where do I start this post.....

I started it yesterday having just run full out across London Euston train station to jump on a 5.43pm train that arrived back in Birmingham at 7.03pm. I hoped to jump on a local train and be home some time before 7.45pm. Annabelle's bedtime is 7pm. The sprint wasn't just for the train, the sprint was to have some vague hope of seeing Annabelle's face before bed. Even if it is just for a hug. I made it, just.

I saw Annabelle at 6.17am. I didn't think I would see her at all today but due to teething the poor baby woke up at 4.15am - and was settled by Laura - then again at 5 something am and then 6.17am. At that point I abandoned the pumping I had been doing downstairs and raced up to sweep her into my arms and give her breakfast straight from the source.

It was 10 mins I didn't allow for in my morning routine but 10 mins I am glad I took. That 10 minute session will get me through the day and console me if I do miss bedtime tonight. 

After feeding was done I raced to throw my bag together, wash out the pumping equipment and get to the station for my 6.47am train. I made it. Just. And without my phone.....although I later discovered Laura had left Annabelle with my Mum to try and catch me to give me my phone - only to arrive as my train was leaving. 

Thankfully not all days start that way. 

In fact most days we are doing a good job with our new routine. Bisbee has no idea what is going on but the rest of us have found a rhythm. I have been back over a month and unlike when I wrote this post my emotions have balanced out.

So here's a quick run through of how life is running currently:

Monday - if I a lucky I have the day off as I have plenty of annual leave to use OR we are both lucky and there is a bank holiday. I am usually home for bed.

Tuesday - Annabelle goes to nursery and I usually head to London. Either I drive to the train station for the 6.37am train or Laura drops me and I get the 7.46am train. There is no middle ground. Or I work from home and Laura drops Annabelle at nursery. I try to make it back for bed.

Wednesday - is usually a lot like a Tuesday. Except I add netball in after putting Annabelle to bed. 

Thursday - my Mum looks after Annabelle and either arrives at 7.30am if I am heading to London or at 8.30am if I am at home. If I am at home I get to feed Annabelle before naps and spend the evening with her. If I have been in London I don't.

Friday - our favourite day of the working week for so many reasons. My Mum has Annabelle in the morning and Laura finishes at 2pm. I am rarely anywhere but home so get to feed Annabelle for naps and see her in the evening.

My crew picking me up on a Friday

And then we hit the weekend and want to lock the front door and do nothing expect be a family. Reality rarely allows it but we try. We can at least guarantee whatever we do we do it as a family. 

Birmingham Pride was a great event for us. It ticked a lot of boxes that make us happy:

• Family Time
• Supporting the LGBT community
• A chance to enjoy nice weather
• Spending time in our city

We have always loved Birmingham Pride - well the parade part - we have never got to the event part. The city really puts on a great show. This year we stood in a new location - Carr Street - right by a church that were handing out water and love hear sweets to the parade participants. There was space to stand and a Tesco for everything we had forgot - like water!

As the parade came down the street Annabelle would stare, intrigued by all the noise and chaos. Bisbee would prepare herself for fuss - she always does well for attention at Prides.

We just stood there and took it all in. We received occasional hugs from friend we know and photo requests from strangers - a perk of dressing up (Laura enforced :))!

Life may be busy but at least we are busy together - most of the time!

Baby Blogging: Back To Work!

Our new normal is up and running. I am well and truly back to work and our routine is in place. The only thing we are struggling with is having enough hours in a day, what's new eh?!

As you may have seen I went back to work in April and my first week was not as expected, details are here.

Since that first week I have settled into a routine of working from home or heading to London, Manchester and wherever my team require me. It feels weird. It feels like I never left. I have found my rhythm quicker than I expected. There is still plenty to catch up on but it's coming back to me.

Making our time together count

What I have found surprising is the speed of which my maternity cover (contracted for a year June - June) has disappeared. Within 3 days everything was being escalated back to me and other than a few calls the handover I expected has never come. I have been a little taken back by that as it has meant that I have had a lot of groundwork to do myself. Ah well.

Being busy at work has actually been great. I have very little downtime to wonder about Annabelle. In the moments that I do, and she's at nursery, I log on and am able to reassure myself that she is okay. I miss her though. That phrase about your heart being in two places at once after you have a baby is true. It's strange but I all I really want to do is hug her, all day, everyday. I know in reality that hug is with a wriggly little girl who can't wait to get down to play with toys or anything else in the room, but it's a nice thought.

That smile!

I console myself with the fact that if I was with her I would be playing with her just like the people taking care of her. I do nothing special in that sense so I know she's not missing out.

In fact my main challenge is not the work/life balance right now it's getting enough time with Annabelle while she is awake. After nursery she is tired, she will either come home and nap - usually 4.15 - 5pm or she will be grisly until bed making it hard to really spend time with her. The nap works well if it happens on time as I finish work and join Annabelle and Laura at 5.30pm.

Morning crew

BUT life isn't always that easy and doesn't always go to plan.

My trains often run delayed from London and instead of a 6pm arrival, I get in at 6.10pm. No biggy except my connecting train is at 6.10 or 6.25. If I get the 6.10 I am at our local station by 6.30 and home by 6.45 and half an hour with Annabelle. If I get the 6.25, I get in at 6.45 and home at 7. I literally just get to feed Annabelle and we have no time together.

Or, in the case of last night, Annabelle fights her nap until 5pm, then falls asleep until 6pm only for me to leave for netball at 6.30pm and return to put her to bed. Not ideal knowing I would be in London today and as usual my train is running 10 mins delayed.

Sneaking in a nap

Our girl loves her routine and her bed and while they are both great things it does leave very, very limited time for me to see her. That is hard, really hard.

When I am working from home I try to spend every minute with her until she leaves for nursery and I take a short lunch so I can grab some time with her as soon as she gets in. I try to make her laugh, get her to smile, get her to know that even though our time together is now so short it's good time. That I love her and that her happiness is my priority. I just hope she doesn't miss me like I miss her.

Nursery is doing what we hoped. Annabelle is now chatty, vocal and more confident. There are different numbers of children each day and they have different activities to do. Annabelle's favourite is being outside in the garden. Her eating has improved and while their are some tears on drop-off they are over quickly (Laura is the hero that handles that). She now takes her bottle and has two naps - all signs that she is comfortable there.

And my parents looking after her is going really well. Laura and I both look forward to Thursday's. While we enjoy checking in via video-link at nursery it's not the same as seeing Annabelle's smiley face in pictures or hearing her giggle in videos. I still wish it was me with her but if not Laura and I then my Mum's the next best thing.

Laura in the meantime continues her relentless hard work. Dropping off and picking up Annabelle. Making sure Annabelle's food is prepped, that she has a change of clothes. She entertains Annabelle until I get back, while doing what she can in the house. When we do get Annabelle to bed and I sit down it's usually 8pm. We have some time checking phones, some time planning the next day and watch a show before falling into bed.

Off to nursery

Any tips on making more of the day? Where do you find your extra time?