Thursday, 7 March 2013

An Eye For An Eye

Sooooooooo I don't know how to start this post........

Two weeks ago, I noticed a spot on my vision in my left eye that is right above where I focus - things in it are really distorted, like you're looking through a bubble.

Or a beer glass haha
I waited 1.5 weeks thinking it was just dust or something and would go away (typical Laura move) but last Friday, I decided I couldn't take it any more, so I went to the optometrist.

You see, it's affecting my vision so much - I can't really focus on things close to me, reading is difficult because I can see two of each word - I was watching TV the other day and noticed that everyone on the screen had four eyes!!

The optometrist found a spot on my eye, and told me to go to the eye hospital immediately - so I went after work, and Sarah met me there.

We waited for four hours, and S was my little nurse - bringing me food, DC and sweets - we were the envy of the waiting room! When I got in to see the doctor, she looked at me for 5 seconds, said basically 'this is not a new problem, there is scarring, you've probably just started noticing it, you'll probably just have to live with it. I'm referring you back to your GP, you'll get an appointment in the next few weeks.'  I started crying at the thought of never being able to fully focus on things again, but she wouldn't answer any of my questions as to what it was - she just kept saying 'I've referred you to your GP'. She was so rude and dismissive, it was obvious she couldn't wait to get out of there. She didn't even clean the machine before I had to put my face there for her to look at my dilated eye.

Awful. If you ever have an issue, do not go to Western Eye Hospital's A&E in London. Do not.

Luckily, my Mum did some research and found another eye hospital in London - Moorfields. We decided to go there on Sunday to get a second opinion. Poor Sarah had a mission getting me out of bed on Sunday, and she only managed it with promise to visit Mother Mash for dinner afterwards haha!

From the moment we arrived at Moorfields, it was like night and day. The nursing staff really cared, I got to see a doctor quickly, and, shock of shocks, this doctor wanted to find out what was wrong!! She told me I had a hole of sorts in my eyeball - that it would be either a hole or liquid, and had hemorrhaged. She sent me for some scans on Monday.

Bright and early Monday morning, I had some scans done - and was told to come back yesterday to have an ink test done. This is a very long explanation of what is wrong with me, but it's been an ordeal, so I feel like I should tell you about it!!

Yes, I took photos of their screens - how else would I be able to self-diagnose? The left photo is my left eye - the dark patch on both is the retina, and that white halo just below it on the left photo? My hole thing!

Yesterday they injected me with yellow dye, which traveled straight to my eyeball (weirdly) and then they took photos to see if the yellow dye was in my hole - it was bright and painful and turned my face yellow - but they were finally able to diagnose me.

Meet Laura Yellowface Giantpupils
I have Myopic choridal neovascular membrane (CNVM) - basically, my understanding is its a burst vein in my eyeball, which is filled with blood and liquid, and is causing the spot I can see. It is because of macular degeneration, which is common in people age 70+, in fact Sarah used to volunteer with The Blind Association, and macular degeneration is the most common cause of blindness. They have no real reason for me that I got it at 24 - its very rare (lucky me), though it may be hereditary.
This is a photo illustration of how painful flashing lights are when your eyes are dilated for the fourth time in one week
Unfortunately, it is likely I will have to live with double vision in reading and not fully being able to focus on my beautiful Sarah for the rest of my life. I have to now get a series of injections straight into my eyeball that will hopefully stabilize the problem, so it won't get worse. With this, there is a 20% chance it will get a lot better, and a 1% chance it will speed up the degeneration so I am blind in my left eye.

And if that happens, there's 100% chance I'm rocking this bedazzled eyepatch.

I'm pretty okay about it, considering - I have moments of sadness at the difficulty of reading books, which I've always loved so much, and having to cover one eye to properly see - but I think it could always be worse. Either way I'll most likely (touch wood) be able to see out of my right eye, so I'll be able to still see my beautiful wife, our wonderful wedding, family, friends, our first child, I'll be able to see all of the wonderful places we travel, and my favourite movie (Rocky Horror Picture Show) for years to come - and I'm thanking my lucky stars for that. And hey, if worst comes to worst and I go completely blind? I'm getting myself the fluffiest guide dog!!

So this is what's going on in our lives at the moment, in case you see some cryptic Tweets or something. I think we're due a bit of good luck in 2013, don't you?


  1. Wowza- cheers to you and being strong and optimistic, Laura!! You will power through this.

  2. Best of luck for a quick recovery. You seem to be handling it 1000% better than I would!


  3. I really hope it does not turn into anything more serious... you are so positive and that is wonderful :)

  4. You are remarkable Lauraloo and I too hope that the remainder of 2013 brings you nothing but good news! When this is all over, you should treat yourself with a pair of stylish new glasses, or two, so you can see, in focus, the beautiful things around you again! I love you very much! xxx

  5. Your positive attitude is something to be really proud of! I really hope you are feeling all better soon, although, I think you should rock the eye patch anyway - that is one killer accessory which not many people could pull off with such...pizazz.
    Love from the 3 of us

  6. Best of luck to you Laura and you will definitely be in my thoughts:) I love your positivity, it really goes a long long way !


  7. Wow, tough news but I love your optimism. I am a firm believer in the fact that the way you view and handle situations has a direct effect on how things turn out. Wishing you the best!

  8. Big hugs! I'm sending you a lot of strength and positive energy, I hope things will turn out good in the end! xxx

  9. Lots and lots of hugs,,,,
    You and Sarah were in my dream last night xx


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