Coming Out at Work - You Better Get This Party Started

I have worked at my new place for 5 months now - wow, didn't that time fly?

I love it there, its hard work, but the team are great, I'm good at my job, and the company is really good to its employees. I must say though, there is one obstacle I didn't expect to have to overcome at my new role - I've been trying to 'come out' at work for months.

As I've always worked with Sarah, it was very easy to come out - people would see us together and assume, or be told by someone else because inter-office romances are hot gossip, gay or straight. But in an office with no Sarah in sight *sob*, it is just not that easy to get it through to people that I have a girlfriend.

(A day in our lives when we worked together - simpler times!)

It's not for lack of trying - I refer to my 'girlfriend' all the time. Probably partially because I'm American, people assume that I refer to my good female friends that way. No matter what scenario I put my 'girl friend' and I in.
'I'm taking my girlfriend to New York City for her 29th birthday' 'Oh wow, you're a really great friend'
'My girlfriend and I have worked at 4 different jobs together, we always try to get jobs at the same place' 'How funny, you follow each other around!'
'My girlfriend and I are going to Thailand on holiday' 'You must be really close to spend that much time together!'
We are.... really close.

I have found I have to focus on one person at a time in my office, to tell them that my girlfriend is not of the friend variety, then move on to the next - without standing on the desk and yelling 'I'M A BIG GAY' or wearing a hat that says 'Ask me about my lesbian relationship'. I even tried (unsuccessfully) to start a rumor about myself. However, I'd only successfully managed to come out to two people during my employment.... until today.

Then these came into my life.

These beautiful red long stemmed roses were delivered, from Sarah, to my work this afternoon. It was a wonderful surprise - I'm truly the luckiest girl in the world!! When I came back into my office sheepishly carrying the roses with an inane grin on my face, everyone looked up.

'Oh, Laura, who are those from?' 'What are those for?' 'Oh my god they are so beautiful!!'

HR offices love flowers.

So then I did it. I took my moment in the sun. 'They are from my girlfriend!' Surely they couldn't think my platonic girl friend would surprise me with a dozen roses? This would be a really weird friendship.

Thank god, one of my colleagues said loudly 'SO ROMANTIC!' - half sarcastically, but I'll take it!

Another colleague said 'I think you're the envy of everyone in the room right now!'

And with that, I was out.

*Small victory dance*

Or, awkward jazz hands in the Blue Mountains. Your choice.

I know, it was a lot of lead up for not a very dramatic story, but it feels so good haha!

Even better, one of my favourite colleagues wasn't there - so when I went to leave with my flowers, she again asked who they were from. I got to actually tell her about Sarah, and our relationship - in the middle of the office, so everyone heard how amazing she is, and that we've been together almost 4 years.

I gots ma'self a girlfriend

Especially as we are both quite femme, coming out every day is just part of being together, and not at all something I have a problem with - for the time being, until the public is more educated not to assume people who look like them are always straight, we will keep opening their eyes. But it is a relief to not struggle to come out to the people I spend 8-10 hours per day with - lets hope I don't have to change jobs again for awhile!

How did you come out at work/school? Was it as painful as I made it, or was it simple, and how did your peers react?

The Holidays Are Coming!!

Now that we can relax (thanks to President Obama being re-elected), we can finally start enjoying the Christmas season!! The weather is nice and cold, Christmas decorations are up around central London, and all the wonderful holiday TV ads are appearing!!!

Here are some of our favourites so far of 2012's holiday season!

We always love a John Lewis advert - they are touching and beautiful, and this one is no different!

This Debenham's ad is the very essence of a British Christmas

This ad for ASDA is Laura's dream Christmas - she loves to make holiday magic for everyone around her!

And of course, there is the classic Coca-Cola Christmas advert - a must!

We started listening to Christmas music today, yay!! It's a little bit sad, but one of our favourite Christmas tunes so far this season?

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh

How are you getting into the holiday spirit??

     PS:

This Happened Today!!

So this happened today!

But more importantly that happened with this beautiful lady:

and my Mum came too! It's fair to say that 6 months ago I never thought today would have been possible! It's been almost 4 years but finally I was able to spend the day with two of my favourite people.

It was over 2 years ago that I first told my Mum about Laura and I and if you have read my past posts (HERE) you will know that it turned into one of the worst days of my life. 

To think that after all of the hatred, drama and upset that differences could be set aside to spend a whole day together gives me some sense of hope. I am not naive enough to think that my parents have completed a 180 and are now ready to accept us but I really hope we are heading that way.

Getting to this point is down to two things as far as I can see. 

1) Laura, and her amazing love for me. I mean how much must you love someone to take a whole heap of abuse and still turn up, smile and be a perfect daughter-in-law-to-be?! I tell you I am so incredibly grateful, thankful and in awe of just how amazing she is. 

2) My Mum. I'm not sure if someone (most likely my sister) had 'words' or the fact that my parents have moved house from their local area but something has changed. I hope it is permanent. Over the past 3 months my Mum has been nothing but pleasant, welcoming and supportive. And then willingly spent the whole day with us and not just at a show! We actually sat and had dinner and chatted for 2 hours. 

As I say I hope it's permanent, I am well aware that change can happen both positively and negatively so incredibly quickly and for so many reasons. I could write a whole post on reasons I think things may have shifted but I am scared to look into too much detail. What if the reason is the fact that my sister now has a boyfriend?! Maybe my parents will feel less like they failed if one daughter settles down with a man and gets married. Who knows!!

All I know is right now, as Christmas approaches I am holding my breath. Holding it because 2 Christmas's ago I sat down with my family to try to find a solution to 'the situation of me dating a girl', a day that saw me agree that I would tell NO-ONE in my family or family circle about Laura and I. An agreement that also banned ALL mentioned of us as a couple on Facebook. Bans that are still in place!

Then last Christmas was a day divided. A day that meant I had Christmas Eve day with my family, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Laura and Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day with the family. Not the best way to spend any Christmas day - with me torn in two.

This Christmas we are heading to Idaho. A day spent entirely with Laura and her family and I can't wait. The very least I can do is give the love of my life the whole day. The whole Christmas period! Bring it on. And if I get one Christmas wish it is that all Christmas's from here on in are undivided. Lets hope the change is permanent with my parents.

The Most EPIC Presidential Election Ever!!! Obama 2012

Hey all, Laura here...

America - HELL YEAH

When I first moved to England, it was towards the end of Bush's presidency. I quickly noticed that when people met me, and realised I was American, instantly they'd ask me, with judgement, if I voted for Bush (I did not.) - this happened on an almost daily basis. The British public just couldn't wrap their heads around what kind of country could elect that guy... twice. And to be honest, I didn't get it either. So over that year, I separated myself as much as possible from my American-ness (you know, besides the accent) - and the USA became more like that gun-toting, bigoted drunk uncle I don't want to invite to parties in case he embarrasses himself (and me).

But then, there was Obama (and, of course the wonderful Hillary). A beacon of hope, of change - imagine having a president who knew where other countries were, who wasn't constantly making the USA a laughingstock - and who wanted to better the lives of all people, not just middle class and wealthy white people?

The whole campaign was so inspiring and positive. By the time Obama was elected, I think it's fair to say the entire continent of Europe was pretty much in love with him (including me, and most people in the USA under the age of 40).

And honestly, he hasn't disappointed me. Absolutely, some promises that were made weren't completely kept, but the President did the very best he could with the absolute mess left from 8 years of Bush. He had attempted to make healthcare more affordable, created jobs, protected women's rights, and 'evolved' on the issue of gay rights. He did a LOT in his first four years.

Over his term, I became increasingly proud to be American - something I honestly did not feel often growing up. I loved my bigoted gun toting drunk uncle USA as much as I didn't want to, but over the last four years that picture of it changed - I've seen strides made for all sorts of wonderful improvements, from the repeal of DADT to Obamacare, from reversing the rise in unemployment to cutting taxes for the middle class, from stopping Bin Laden to ending the war in Iraq, from making college more affordable to signing the Lilly Ledbetter Act, from the return of the auto industry to becoming the first President to support marriage equality.

Why all he back story, you ask? Turns out I am very long winded when it comes to Obama. But I can honestly say that now, and for the last few years, I am proud to be an American. I'm proud of our progress, I'm proud of our recovery (though slow) from the economic crisis, and I'm proud of the acceptance and tolerance shown by most people I know in my really Right-wing state of my relationship with Sarah. And it's amazing.

So, for the last month I've been a nervous wreck. Romney would have taken all this progress and crumpled it up, threw it out the window. A Romney presidency would have shown the world that we don't care about our women, our poor, our racial minorities, our LGBTs. It would have sent the message that men who think babies resulting from rape are 'God's will' and that women's bodies 'shut down' when they are 'legitimately' raped *shakes head*. And that the USA will vote for someone despite them telling lies at every turn. So it's fair to say I was shit scared. The blood would drain from my face every time someone would ask me about the election. Could I go back to a life of being disappointed in my country?

So when my mum wrote on my Facebook wall at 4:30am this morning and my phone vibrated -

We couldn't believe our eyes. The nightmare was over!! OBAMA HAD WON!!!!!! We jumped out of bed, danced around together, and cried. It was just the most incredible news.

And it just got better and better.

Not only was President Barack Obama re-elected, but it was a GIANT election for women's rights and LGBT rights.

There are now 21 women in the Senate - the highest number there have ever been.

Do you remember the 'legitimate god's will rape' guys? They lost their seats... to women.

The first ever openly gay Senator was elected. And she is a woman. And she is awesome.

Her House of Reps seat was taken by an openly gay man - making this the first time a gay person has succeeded a gay person in government.

3 more states legalised gay marriage - for the first time, by popular vote - Maryland, Maine and Washington (we love Washington!)

Minnesota also helped the cause by voting against a proposition that would define marriage in their constitution as between a man and woman.

2 states legalised marijuana for recreational use (Washington again and Colorado)

I mean.... how much cooler can the USA get??? We've gone from crazy drunk uncle to awesome protective big brother.

Just Obama. Chilling on a unicorn. Spreading equality. BAMF.

Sarah and I have been very emotional today, partially because of how extremely early we got up this morning, but mostly because of what Obama's win means to us (and to a lot of you dear readers!). President Obama has promised to legalise gay marriage federally. This would mean that Sarah and I could potentially move back to Idaho or Washington, to realise my dream of raising kids in the Pacific Northwest with the one I love the most. It means, more pressingly, that whether it's legal or not at the time, when Sarah and I get married in the next few years in Idaho, it will be with the support of our President and our country. And because of the support from the government, vendors, family, friends - everyone is more likely to be open, accepting and supportive of our love and relationship.

The President being re-elected means that gay children will grow up knowing that in fact, it really does get better, and kids who might have been bullies with another influence, might instead not pick on the gay kids. It means that little girls can grow up to be anything they dream of being, without worrying about having to leave early to cook dinner for their husband and children (unless that's their choosing, of course!) The whole country will continue on this path to being a leading nation once again.

What does Obama's big win mean to you?

Thank you for voting!!