Life Update: After The Storm Comes A Rainbow!

So a few weeks ago I shared this post: Sometimes The Struggle Is Real! Life had become somewhat overwhelming for a number of reasons and I wrote the post as a way of clearing my head and sharing what was going on with us.

That was a few weeks ago and opening this page to start this post I am in a much better place. Thankfully. Things haven't slowed down but things have become more manageable.

In fact we have spent the weekend singing, dancing and celebrating at Brighton Pride with my Mum, two Aunts and sister. It was an amazing weekend and wandering down Brighton pier I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I am surrounded by love and support and when things are tough I know my tribe are there for me.

My wonderful wife is the leader of the tribe, the brightest colour in my rainbow and the best support I could ever ask for.

In the last few weeks I have organised and run a conference for the growing sales team I am part of managing - 32 people at last count! We have launched new content in subjects I haven't had time to get up to speed on but have supported. I have been to different team meetings, met lots of new people and joined in with wider company activities in a away to get myself up to speed with things as quick as possible. The new normal is still a away off but I am working towards it.

And then home and Annabelle. Part of my struggle was because I was missing having time with Annabelle but in the last few weeks I feel like this has started to change, culminating with this weekend and today. This weekend I was able to get plenty of Annabelle time even though there were others that she spent time with. She was on top form and an absolute joy to be around. Today I had the day off and it felt so good - although she had a two hour nap which then left be tidying instead of spending time with her I was still able to enjoy her company, and catch up on Bisbee hugs. I guess naps are necessary sadly!

Annabelle has also been sleeping better so I am less tired. It's amazing what sleep can do for you. I always knew it but having the recent evidence has been eye-opining - or eye closing :)

I honestly don't think we could have handled Pride a few weeks ago. With the amount of house projects and stuff going on in life I think we would have felt too exhausted. However Laura really stepped it up and in the last week we had one of our bathrooms finished, the conservatory/playroom is almost completed - including a newly painted wall courtesy of Laura and the last bits will be down to us instead of workmen which is a really nice feeling.

It meant that the timing of Pride was a great celebration, a celebration of how far my Mum has come in accepting our relationship, a great celebration of being a rainbow family and a great celebration that love is really all you need.

We stayed in Worthing, a 20 minute drive from Brighton. we arrived on Friday, after a three hour drive from Birmingham and three hours of my Mum and Aunt Janette entertaining and feeding Annabelle. My Auntie Karen and sister arrived shortly after and we dined on fish and chips before catching up and bed.

Saturday was a fairly early start so we could get to Brighton, get parked and get to the parade route. We were able to find a spot and spread out on the curb so we could feed Annabelle before the parade arrived. It also meant we could rest our legs from the walk down. Much needed as we then spent two hours enjoying the parade.

After the parade we strolled towards Brighton pier and enjoyed the atmosphere, Annabelle loved watching the sea and we enjoyed the time with people special to us. Powered by doughnuts we made it back to the car and then the house for an evening of games and snacks.

On Sunday we explored Worthing and enjoy the beach front and another meal of fish and chips before heading back to Birmingham.

I don't know if it was the sea air, the rainbows everywhere we looked or just the outpouring of love but Brighton certainly brightened how I am feeling.

Onwards and upwards!

Guest Post: Why Is Dating Harder For LGBT People Today?

With our 5th wedding anniversary coming up and June being Pride month, what better time to spread some love! When we a received an email from Jenny at LezBeGay with a solution for single LGBT people we thought it was an amazing idea and that now would be a great time to share it with you.

Why Is Dating Harder For LGBT People Today?

A 2011 report by the Williams Institute states that gay people make up 1.7 percent of the population. Separate those 1.7 percent down to gender preference, attraction and similar mindsets and what’s left for us gay folk? The pickings are slim as the numbers are not in our favour, with gay people outside of cities having the most challenging time meeting someone. Whilst we don’t have control over percentages of our existence, there are a few things that complicate things even further….

 Go to any gay bar or social function and you’ll either see people standing alone sipping their drinks hoping for someone to come up to them or packs protectively surrounding themselves with their group of friends. What’s the result? You become invisible from contact with people outside your friendship circle.

I’ve discussed this with my own friends and the majority state that they take a passive approach when it comes to flirting in public and wait to be approached by someone else. Shyness and fear of rejection are the number one reason behind my female friends lack of initiative at introducing themselves to someone they find attractive and interesting. In my experience, this doesn’t appear to be as big an issue in heterosexual circles as straight men are more likely to take the initiative.

10 years ago this kind of behaviour would have been a problem but not anymore! Today we have texting and other online platforms that allow for hiding behind a screen instead of having in-person communication. We’re okay with our shyness and fear of rejection, we don’t try to get past it anymore because technology allows us to hide; our social skills and flirting abilities have weakened.

Gone are the days of meeting the love of your life by chance at Starbucks. Nah, today we’re all about Tinder. Good thing we’ve got Tinder you say? Nope. This problem can be applied to all millennials, whether you’re gay or straight.

Technology has made are lives so much easier, whether it comes down to looking up a new recipe or texting our flatmates to bring back a pack of beer from work. I’m typing this from my smartphone, ironic or what?

BUT my experience with Tinder and other dating apps shows that millennials have lost the ability to appreciate what’s in front of them because we have so much choice, literally seconds away.

Everyone who we swipe through is supposed to look like a model, be super successful, like everything we like, and fit the molds we’ve created that no one can ever actually live up to.

We all expect to have perfect tens for partners even if we aren’t a ten, which no one is, and the quest for this mythical creature ruins our ability to see how amazing the person in front of our screen truly is; we don’t give them the chance to show their quirks in person. This, in my experience, is when a person’s personality shines through, when you let go of prejudices that you may have been fed from a picture and a few lines; you simply let go and interact with the person face-to-face.

I got sick of swiping so decided to go old school. I wanted lots of dates all in one night, I didn’t want to get ghosted nor did I fancy sticking around if I didn’t like the person. How do you manage that you ask? Speed dating. Speed dating is something that has never really held much appeal in the past. Maybe it’s down to a preconception of it being a grown-up mix of musical chairs and snap. So the trick is to make a good impression, make a connection and make an assessment on the reality of what is in front of you, not a preconceived idea. Despite wanting to speed date, when I did a Google search I noticed that there weren’t any websites dedicated to gay people. This is why I decided to start a website for the LGBT community. If the points above perhaps apply to you, then you can check the site out at www.lezbegay.co.uk. We are currently holding events in London but hope to  eventually roll out through the rest of the UK.

I’m still trying to find the woman of my dreams but when I find her at the next speed dating event, I'll be sure to let you know.

Jenny

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So there you have it! If you're LGBT, single and London based (currently!) check out Jenny's dating site, www.lezbegay.co.uk - get dating!

Valentine's Day - Throwing It Back!!

Bringing back a 2012 post:
Love was in the air yesterday, as we celebrated our first Valentine's Day together in London. Laura has always loved Valentine's Day (heck, what holiday doesn't that girl love??), and though Sarah hasn't ever taken much notice of it (except since being with Laura, because it gives her a chance to show off her amazing present-giving/spoiling skills!), she (Laura hopes) has learned to love it too. This is why we thought we'd share with you our Valentines Days of old. 

Now, we've talked a lot about Valentine's Day on this blog over the last week or so, but we hope you'll bear with us and enjoy a look back at our three V-Days as a couple. And also a fourth, when we were just close friends. It'll give us a chance to see how our relationship has changed and grown over the years! Lets go in chronical order, because we like it that way. 

V-Day 2009 
Valentine's Day happened less than one month after we became inseparable 'friends' (if you haven't read it, you can check out our love story here - SPOILER: The girl gets the girl in the end). We had become close (while Laura was consoling Sarah's ex-boyfriend) and Laura blew off her then-boyfriend to spend the evening with Sarah at her flat. He should have seen it coming, right? Anyway, we spent the evening eating Chinese takeaway, watching the Top 50 Love Songs countdown on VH1, singing along dramatically to most of them, and...full on spooning. Even though we didn't actually get together for another month (our anniversary is March 16th). Seriously, looking back, we were never really 'just friends'! Laura couldn't have been happier with her choice of date for V-Day. 

V-Day 2010 
Almost one year into our relationship, and practically living together to the point where Laura's poor roommates almost called an intervention about their elusive 5th housemate, we said goodbye to the awful job we were working at together, and headed to Australia for a year. As ya do. We spent our first Valentine's Day officially together on an airplane to Singapore for a 14 hour layover before heading to Sydney. As we sat in the departure lounge together, we each sheepishly pulled out little gifts we had gotten each other, despite agreeing we weren't going to get presents!! *Insert collective awww here* The little monkey in underwear (Hot Pants Monkey, as we call him) has gone on all our trips since. We drank our first Singapore Sling on the plane (at Laura's Mum's suggestion), watched movies and enjoyed our plane ride. When we arrived in Singapore, we explored the city in the time we had - took a London Eye -like ferris wheel, saw some monuments, temples, and got incredibly hot and sweaty. We actually fell asleep on the bus back to the airport, and the driver had to wake us up when we arrived!! 

VDay on a plane and in Singapore!

V-Day 2011 
This is the only not-so-great Valentine's tale. Laura flew back from her home in Idaho for the first week of February to be with Sarah in time for Valentine's Day (to provide back story, after Sydney we went to Idaho, Sarah came back to the UK for Christmas and Laura stayed behind with her family), but Sarah, who had just gotten a new job, had to go on a business trip to Barcelona for Valentine's Day!!! So Laura spent V-Day job hunting, and Sarah spent it at a conference. Essence of romance, right? When Sarah returned, Laura lit candles and placed them around the house, made her a few gifts, and we had a little celebration. 

That brings us to today!! 

V-Day 2012 
All is right in the world again [read: we work together now]. Before work, Laura got a lovely homemade card. Laura wrote on 30 or so red paper hearts - each one with one thing she loves about her Sarah. She hid them around throughout the day. Sarah obliviously missed two in the morning, one in the bathroom and one in the bedroom, but she can't be blamed, as nobody is fully awake until about 11am in our house! 

Ahhhh nice to know there's more than 1 reason to love me S xo

Sarah gave Laura a beautiful little card and a clue to the activity we would be doing in the evening. The clue was a handwarmer!! Laura was as in-the-dark as ever. 

Laura got delivered to work (actually, she snuck out to pick it up, and got the receptionist to tell her it had been delivered. Shhhh!) a giant cookie with the words 'Nothing's as sweet as you!! L&S' on it in strawberry icing, Sarah's favourite!! Funny though, when she went to pick it up, they had written 'Nothing's as free as you!! L&S' on it - erm... I don't think that sends the right message!! But they fixed it and Sarah was none the wiser. 

'Nothing's as sweet as you' - ahhhh

After a full day's work, lots of little paper hearts and even more cookie-eating, we headed off to our surprise location. On the tube on the way there, Laura got a card that finally told her where we were going - ICE BAR LONDON!!!! SO EXCITING!!!

It was really cool ;)

The Ice Bar was amazing. We were given warm hooded ponchos, and went into the bar - it was like stepping into a completely different world! The bar was made of ice, the walls were made of ice, the glasses were made of ice - so wonderful! We had 40 minutes in there, drank some yummy cocktails out of the ice glasses, and Laura took over 100 photos. In 40 minutes. That girl takes pictures at the speed of light. It was a lovely surprise, and Sarah kept her title of best present giver!!!

We then went home, like the poor old ladies we are, and ate Laura's homemade stew for dinner with Sarah's famous mashed potatoes (instead of going out to eat). It was delicious, and the added bonus of being able to snuggle right afterwards was so great!!

We ended the night Skyping Laura's little brother, Jason in Idaho - not the most romantic end to Valentine's Day, but as usual he was hilarious and we loved seeing him!

V-Day is over for another year, and we can't wait to see what next February brings!!

What was the best Valentine's Day you have ever had and why??

Lots of love,

Laura & Sarah xo 

Travel: A week in Paris

When we heard that Laura's Mum had wanted to spend a week in Paris for her birthday we were disappointed. Paris, for a week! I know poor us!

How spoiled we are that in our 7 years together we have already done Paris 3 times, separately we have done Paris even more. As it is a quick and fairly cheap trip from London to Paris on the EuroStar it was an easy trip to make when we were first dating and to enjoy the Christmas markets. That does leave it rather far down our to-do list when looking for places to go though. And it never on our top choice for a holiday.

However we had always had 'mini breaks' or long weekends - a maximum of 4 day at any one time. Like London it is a big, busy city and in our opinion not the place for a relaxing getaway, we thought a week would exhaust us.

We were wrong.

Actually it was quite the opposite. A week in the city of love was an entirely different experience to a long weekend. In this and a couple of subsequent posts we will break down exactly why we fell back in love with Paris. Let's just say it involves a lot of cheese and beautiful places!

Here's the highlights:
Day 1: Revisiting the must-do's: Eiffel Tower, Champs-Elysees, Sacré-Cœur, the Louvre
Day 2: Checking out Galleria LaFayette
Day 3: Inside the Opera house
Day 4: Notre Dame, Sainte Chapelle, Pont Nerf and adding our padlock to the bridge, Moulin Rouge
Day 5: Bastille market, graveyards under the city
Day 6: Versailles palace and gardens

The best bits for us were:

• The area we stayed - right by the Sacré-Cœur so plenty going on and easy access to the Metro
• Versailles - we could have stayed longer but didn't realise the area itself was a beautiful town, we thought it was just the palace.
• The amount of delicious food we ate - including racellette, cheese fondue and snails (well Laura did)
• Being lucky enough to get sunny days or sunny parts of the day! April is not guaranteed to be nice weather and we certainly experienced a mixed bag, i'm just glad our mix had plenty of blue skies :)

We'll be back with more details shortly!

Our First Year Wedding Anniversary Part 3 (The Final Part!) - Bob Bob Ricard

I'd seen photos from the glamorous Russian restaurant Bob Bob Ricard in London on Instagram over the last few years, and always had it on my list of 'one day, if we have the money/an occasion' items.

So when I suggested it to my 'realist' wife for our anniversary and showed her the photos, I definitely expected her to say no. It is the most expensive place we would have ever eaten! So I was shocked when she said she thought it was a great idea, and I booked it before she could change her mind.

My parents very generously offered to pay for most of the meal as our anniversary present, so Saturday we set off all dolled up to have our first anniversary dinner!

And let me tell you, it was incredible. I think I thought the experience would be amazing, but didn't expect the food to be stellar, because it would be more about the experience. Does that make sense? But I was wrong!

The dining room was beautiful, very ornate, with the wait staff in suits with tails, and we ordered a cocktail each to get things started. Sarah ordered a chicken, mushroom and champagne pie, and I ordered the filet mignon, with a few sides each.

It was just divine. The filet mignon cut like butter, was medium rare and to die for - the pie was flavourful and warm, and the top of it was beautiful! Weirdly, one of our favourite bits of the meal was seemingly simple - the honey glazed parsnips and carrots almost brought tears to our eyes. We have tried to recreate it since to no avail.

The sides are quite small, but I'd say the flavour of everything more than made up for it.

And then, we noticed the 'Push for champagne' button at each table - and thought, should we?

How could we not take advantage!

We were delivered two glasses of rose champagne, and after a cheers to this wonderful last year of our lives, we got onto ordering dessert.

We ordered the eton mess ball and strawberry and cream soufflé - which paired very well with our lovely drinks, if I say so myself!

Then, the icing on the cake (quite literally) of this amazing night, they had overheard us talking about our wedding anniversary and surprised us with this pretty little celebration ice cream cake, which had sparklers on it and made us feel very special.

In short, we cannot recommend Bob Bob Ricard enough for a special celebration meal out. Delicious food, fantastic service, one of a kind experience. We will be back, whenever we can find a wonderful occasion to celebrate! Surely getting through this week counts - celebration that it's Friday!

Part 1 of our Year 1 Wedding Anniversary celebrations can be found here! We checked out Book of Mormon.

Part 2 can be found here! We were at Pride!

Our Bachelorette Party Video is Here!!

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely May weather we are enjoying here! We've had an awesome weekend which we will catch you up with later in the week, but one thing I managed to do was finish and post our Las Vegas Bachelorette party video!

I worked on it a few months ago, then when I picked it up again this weekend, I couldn't find the footage anywhere - was getting really nervous when I finally located it!

I've used all 'free' music, which we will be doing moving forward, so our videos can be viewed on mobile devices and in all countries.

Without further ado, here's the link!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUfUFzKzozI

It was so lovely to remember what an amazing time we had with some of our nearest and dearest - even though we can't believe it was already almost two years ago! Can we go back to this celebration please??

We hope you enjoy it!!

Seven.

Today Sarah and I have been together for seven years!!

Seven isn't necessarily a significant number, and with all that has been going on here lately it is passing without the biggest of celebrations, but I wanted to take a moment to recognise it.

Seven seems like a really long time. It's well over half a decade of love, laughs and adventures (and of course the occasional argument). Soon it will be in double digits, and I can't believe how quickly it is going. But I guess they say time flies when you are having fun!

So, in honour of the day, I thought I'd list my 7 favourite things about Sarah at this moment in time:
1. She makes me laugh with her wit and silliness, which always puts a smile on my face
2. She is the smartest person I know, both with her random fact knowledge and her
3. Her eyes - they are big, beautiful and always convey her inner feelings
4. She is so generous - always going above and beyond to make me feel special, doing chores that I don't want to, and making my life even better in so many ways
5. The. Best. Cuddles.
6. I love how much she loves Bisbee, and seeing how amazing and protective and loving she is with her makes me so excited for the future
7. She is truly my other half. The first person I tell good news to, who I run to for comfort, who I want to travel with and cook for and make smile every day

And now, a highlight photo from each of our seven years together. Here's to many, many more!!

Year 1 - Sarah's 26th birthday and our first trip together to St. Malo

Year 2 - our time in Sydney, living together for the first time!

Year 3 - Our trip to Naples

Year 4 - We got engaged in Idaho!

Year 5 - (technically slightly after) we got legally married in the UK

Year 6 - we became Mrs and Mrs Smith!

Year 7 - Our big honeymoon road trip to California

I love you, wife!!

We're Youtube Famous!! #ProudToLove

Okay, not really, but a tiny little bit!

We know we've been a little AWOL from the blog - again -but thanks for staying with us.

We have posts in the pipeline but while we finish writing we thought we would share the below exciting news!!

We are too excited to have been featured in Youtube's #ProudToLove Pride month video!

Our knowledge of the video before it was posted was minimal, we received an email from YouTube notifying us that our wedding video might be included in a Pride month video. We thought there would be thousands of videos they would be looking at so we thought nothing more of it.

In intermission of Book of Mormon (our anniversary present to one another) we checked our phones and saw a comment on an Instagram post saying 'Y'all are in a YouTube Commercial!!!!!!' And we freaked out - we'd been selected!!

We switched off our phones to enjoy the end of the show but by the time we were heading home we didn't know what to be more excited about:

• Celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary
• Marriage Equality in all 50 states of America
• Being chosen to feature in the YouTube video
• Having been lucky enough to get great seats to see Book of Mormon
• Pride London happening the next day

There aren't many days when things are THAT good!

So we embraced all the excitement, revelled in the happiness that is London on Pride weekend and wandered around like lottery winners. There is something that makes us so happy reliving our wedding day in any shape or form. Thank you for every message / screen shot / tweet / Instagram and Facebook comment - and thank you for being just as excited to share the experience.

A few of our favs:

Friday the 26th of June 2015 was a great day!

Oh and here is the video for anyone who missed it: (if you get a YouTube error click on the blog title an open it in a new page it should work)

Did you see us? It was brief I know but still, pretty awesome! :)

Kicking Butt and Changing Lifestyles

My wonderful mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in February of this year (2015). I've not spoken about it online, or indeed much in real life, I think because it made it seem more real. But I feel like in the wake of my trip to Baltimore last week, along with our lifestyle changes since then, that I want to document this part of our lives, to an extent.

Mum went straight into chemotherapy in February, doing what we were told is one of the most aggressive treatments, every other week for 3 months. Dad and I are the optimists in the family, but even we couldn't have predicted how well and in-her-stride she handled the sessions. She'd go in for a 6-8 hour day, have side effects for 2-3 days after, then in the off weeks she and Dad would go on little trips, long walks, and spend lots of quality time together. She since has met patients her age or younger who had to get off the chemo cycle she was doing because it was too intense, so I still can hardly believe she was doing so much with her weeks! 

We were very fortunate that Mum was able to be admitted to Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore, where they did tests and Xrays and got great news - the tumour had shrunk enough that she could have it removed surgically!! The downside to this is that even with it removed, pancreatic cancer is very aggressive, and frequently returns - so she has been given 2+ years. But the plus is a very big plus, potentially another 5, or even 10, years! We can only hope.

After this news, I was beside myself. It is a big surgery - 6 to 8 hours - and I hadn't been able to see Mum since her diagnosis. I'm really lucky that with the help of my parents, my wife, and my workplace, I was able to go to Baltimore for the surgery - and to spend a few days of quality time with my parents beforehand. 

We had an amazing time, made so many memories - and I can't wait to share the photos with you in subsequent posts.

The surgery was thankfully a huge success, and Mum is currently recovering in the fantastic JHH facilities. Dad is by her side every step of the way, and our whole family is so relieved. Sarah and I can't wait to see them in San Francisco this October, and that Mum's recovery means they can spend more time in Europe, with us and enjoying their lives the way they deserve to.

Surgery success!

My Mum is an incredible woman and I am so proud of her. My Dad is also so strong and caring - so devoted to Mum and her recovery. This whole ordeal really reminded me of how amazing my parents are, and how lucky I am to have them to look up to.

The diagnosis, and everything that goes along with it, has made lasting changes to our family. My Dad recently read the book The China Study, and has given my brother and me each a copy to read. It really is fascinating. 

Simplified, the book gives readers studies of how a diet low in 'animal protein' and high in 'plant protein' can prevent cancer, and can even reverse illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure in some cases. 

One of the many studies in the book is in the 1980s, when the author began coordinating technical assistance for a nationwide project in the Philippines working with malnourished children. Part of the project became an investigation of the unusually high prevalence of liver cancer, usually an adult disease, in Filipino children. In this project, however, he uncovered a dark secret. Children who ate the highest-protein diets were the ones most likely to get liver cancer. They were the children of the wealthiest families. 

Studies like this within the book make sense when you think that diseases like cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc, are significantly more common in Western countries, like the USA and UK, than in countries like China, where there is a large number of vegans and vegetarians.

I suggest you take a read for yourself and draw your own conclusions, but I went from poking (light) fun at my meat and cheese loving Dad for eating vegan at the beginning of the week, to learning all I could about veganism and the ins and outs of The China Study, and by the time I boarded my plane home, I was hooked.

We have always said we loved meat (Sarah) and cheese (Laura) too much to become vegans. Not to mention how awkward it can be for vegans to go to restaurants, dinner parties, weddings, etc. But hey, when you may have the pancreatic cancer gene, as I very well may, you'll try anything -including veganism- that will help you live a long and healthy life with your wife.

AND YOUR PUPPY

We have put a rule in place that when we are out to eat, or at a friend's, we can eat regularly though and indulge. Pretty good compromise I think!

So expect some vegan recipes over the next few months on the blog, from two girls who don't 'love' vegetables, as we experiment with a whole new lifestyle!

Any vegans/veggies/vegetable enthusiasts have any tips or recipes for us newbies?

Thanks for everyone's well wishes, my mum is very loved!