Thanksgiving 2015 - Always Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!!

This day is the one I miss home the very most every year. I love the atmosphere in the lead up to Thanksgiving, everyone is so happy and content and strangers are nicer drivers and in supermarket parking lots. And this year Boise has snow!! Anyway.

I make the most out of every holiday throughout the year, even though my colleagues and neighbours probably think I'm crazy. Whether its an office Easter egg hunt, being the only house in my neighbourhood decorated for Halloween, or having sparklers and BBQs on the 4th July (no matter how rainy it might be!) I feel like I do the very best I can to bring the things I love so much about the USA to my life in the UK.

Exhibit A - Halloween 2015

But Thanksgiving is the only one I've really struggled with. Maybe it's simply because my work doesn't just let me have the two days off we get in America to cook and celebrate, maybe its because even if they did, the people I love would still have to work so wouldn't be able to celebrate with me, maybe it's because this holiday is about family, and most of mine are far away. It's also probably because strangers in the street don't know it's Thanksgiving, so the air of love and kindness just isn't there. I think mostly it's that I haven't yet found a tradition Sarah and I can make our own - to do Thanksgiving the 'American and wife in the West Midlands' kind of way.

Sign I came home to from my girls!

So while I'm waiting, and researching, and thinking of magical things we can do each year to celebrate along with my 'Americans in America' counterparts, this year we were invited to the opening of a brand new restaurant in Birmingham, called The Stable! It'll be so fun to have a nice date night in town, and get to sample all this restaurant have to offer, to mark the occasion. We'll post all about it afterwards, so keep an eye out!

Though Thanksgiving is slightly bittersweet for the lone Idahoan of Kings Norton, it isn't lost on me just how much I am to be thankful for.

I'm most thankful this year for my Mum - she has fought pancreatic cancer this year, and after lots of chemo, a surgery at Johns Hopkins, lots of recovery time in hospital, and more chemo, she is officially in remission as of last week! Mum is truly my hero, she handled everything that came her way incredibly well, continued to be the Mum we all love and adore throughout, and never lost her sense of humour. It may not be over forever, but for now, we are all just so grateful and happy.

I'm also so thankful for my Dad, the unsung hero of the cancer fight - he kept Mum going when she was down, made sure she walked and ate to keep her strength up, treated and surprised her to keep a smile on her face, went to so many 6 hour long chemo appointments, asked all the hard questions to all the doctors, became 'Nurse Bob' when he tended to Mum's post-surgery wound, and was the unwavering support we all needed the whole way through.

My wife, who tried to shield me from hurt and heartache every step of the way - from the day I came home from work and had to Skype Dad to find out that Mum had cancer, to driving me to the airport and packing for me to go to Baltimore for Mum's surgery, for holding down the fort while I was away, being my shoulder to cry on countless times and my reminder to stay positive throughout, for always thinking of ways to make my Mum smile from sending flowers and cards to 'take a picture of this, your Mum will like it!', for always knowing when a pizza and movie night is needed, and for being my better half every day!

I'm thankful for the caring and kind people I have around me here, my mother in law for being there for us from the beginning and for giving me a good luck charm I took to Baltimore and will keep with me always, my good friends, in laws and colleagues for checking in and asking how Mum is, but also for distracting me when I needed it with adventures and memories I will keep for a lifetime.

And finally, I'm thankful for this bundle of fur - it's our first Thanksgiving with her, and I can't believe we've had her for a year! She has changed our lives so much for such a little thing, and we can't imagine life without her. I put together a little video of her best bits from her first year, check it out here!

Happy Thanksgiving from my little family to yours - I didn't expect this post to be quite as heavy as it was, but 2015 has been a hell of a roller coaster. Here's to a healthy and happy 2016!!

How Long Until I'm British? - 7 Years in England

Today, the 19th of January, is always a special day. I don't celebrate per say, but always try to take note of it - it's the day I moved to England, 7 short years ago.

Last year I wrote the story of how, and why, I moved to London. If you haven't read it, please do, it brought back a fair few emotions for me.

I still can't believe I moved over (mostly) on my own at 19 years old. And I can't believe how much I've been through since then - some hardships, but overwhelmingly great, wonderful things.

I thought this year I'd commemorate the most 'American' things I've done/said in this short time, which have hit home that I most definitely am not British yet.

I was looking for a vodka mixer for a drinking-in-a-park-type event, and came across a huge bottle of orange squash (very potent cordial, meant for mixing 1 part with 10 parts water to make juice). Not knowing what squash was at the time, I drank a quarter of the bottle straight, then filled that quarter with vodka. The mixture of strong cordial and vodka made for a very ill Laura.

I too often pronounce names of things phonetically, instead of remembering the proud British tradition of inserting as many silent letters in words as humanly possible. Most made-fun-of examples include High Wycombe ('WY-COMB-BEE' if American, 'WIH-cum' if British), Gloucester Road ('Glow-chester' if American, 'Gloss-ter' if British) and Worchestershire ('War-CHES-ter-sheer' if American, 'Wuss-ter-shur' if British).

On numerous occasions at work I've had to get the phone number of a Scottish caller and have a colleague ring them back as I'm unable to understand them. Note, this happened much more frequently before I gained a Scottish mother-in-law!

Not knowing any better, in a family match I held a cricket bat like a baseball bat. Still not lived it down. Cricket is silly anyway.

Found a pub serving turkey sandwiches on Thanksgiving Day, in a sad attempt to not miss one of my favourite holidays.

I was very shocked to find out houses don't come standard with in-built sprinkler systems or outdoor house plugs - how does everyone plug in their Christmas lights?

I tried to get refills at a few restaurants in London before realising it's very rare here - which left me embarrassed and extra DC-less!!

Made numbers of Londoners uncomfortable by hugging them upon meeting and smiling and saying hi on the street - I soon learned that lesson after people started either crossing the road to avoid me or thought I was flirting with them! I once had someone follow me down a street winking at me because I'd smiled at him!

I think /hope that's it, that I haven't done that many other embarrassingly American things.

Here's to all the love and happiness that the UK has brought me, and another 7 here with my beautiful British friends and family!

Why We Work

We work because Sarah makes me laugh more than anyone else I know.

We work because we both have strong opinions, and both of our inability to back down leads to huge blow outs over something obscure, or on better days to obscurely intellectual arguments that make us feel super grown up.

We work because she likes crispy fries, and I like soft ones.

We work because we surprise each other with notes and little presents - to remind each other of how much we're loved.

We work because Sarah will eat the yellow/orange/green sweets in a bag for me, and not get mad when I take all the reds and purples.

Likewise, we work because I have come to terms with Sarah's high speed of eating; I know that when we share, I'll never quite get half.

We work because even when I'm mad at her, I'm planning our next anniversary/holiday/birthday, and because I somehow feel guilty for being mad because I know she didn't mean to upset me.

We work because Sarah will apologise for pretty much anything, to get back to hand holding and cuddling.

We work because I'm a dreamer, and she's my realist.

We work because if something is really important to us, we make it happen, no matter what.

We work because if I'm on a diet, she'll go out of her way to help me on it - even if that means trying new things, or eating foods she doesn't really like.

We work because in getting these photos out, I realised I have a ton of photos of Sarah with oversized food. I count this as a win.

We work because I give full massages upon request; and because she's much better at curling my hair than I am.

We work because she almost kills me most mornings in the way to work - but I still would trust her with my life in an instant.

We work because we work - at communication, at focusing on the other's love languages, on laughing every day, and making the most of even the most mundane of days.

We work because I can't picture any great thing - trips, experiences, friendships - without her by my side, experiencing it right along with me.

Happy (early) Valentine's Day, Sarah Bearah xx

An American in England: 6 Years On

The 19th January 2014 marks 6 whole years since I walked off the plane with my suitcases in hand in ole' Blighty. I was 19 years old at the time, and had no idea what the future would bring me, or if I could even survive in another country, completely alone.

Found a whole bunch of 'arty' photos of me on my FB from 2008, so thought I'd stick one in this post for authenticity.

I'd gone to university at Western Washington, had a good scholarship, but only one year in I realised it just wasn't for me - I didn't know what I wanted to do so felt like I was floundering, coupled with upset over a long distance boyfriend I had at the time who was cheating, and a natural inclination towards depression and anxiety, I was a mess. the coursework was easy and I'd get decent grades for little effort, but I hated it there - I cried myself to sleep all the time, and often missed class just because. It's a shame because WWU is a stunning university, but it just wasn't for me at that time. So I packed up my little car before Spring Break and drove myself all the way home, 10 hours of driving, to my understanding though I'm sure worried, parents.

All these years later, I really wish I'd had my hair down and closed my mouth for this photo.

They took me to see a life coach, who gave me tools to handle my anxiety and depression, and I slowly got better. I got two part time jobs, in a hotel and at a restaurant, and worked on myself a bit. Then one day, my parents suggested I go to England to work and travel for a year - my life coach supported it, and I started to think it was a great idea! So I quit those jobs, got my first full time job as a receptionist, and saved up to move to England.

In a culture where pretty much everyone goes to university and gets a degree, it was awkward to have 'failed', come home and gotten a job. I didn't like seeing my friends much - I'm sure I've cited this before, but I will always remember driving around with a well-meaning friend and her telling me I'm 'wasted potential' for not going back to school. But that didn't matter, I figured I had 5 years to use my scholarship, so there was no harm in taking a break and doing something different. So I booked my ticket, and Dad and I flew to England - arriving 19th January 2008.

Dad came over to help me get sorted in that first week. He upgraded us to business class as a special treat, which was just so exciting! When we arrived, things didn't quite go to plan - the flat I had tried to set up when abroad for me to move into ended up being a scam (luckily I hadn't been silly enough to send them money before seeing the house (there was no house!)), I had put in some CVs but not managed to secure a job yet, and so my Dad dropped me and my suitcases off at a hostel, Globetrotters, in Hammersmith.

That was it - at 19 I was alone in a hostel with no job, just 6 months worth of savings (in American dollars too, awful exchange rate!) in London. Unfortunately, in typical teen fashion, I spent most of my savings in the 2 months I lived in that hostel (it had a bar in the downstairs!). But I made some friends I still keep in contact with, and had some really good experiences. I got a job as reception in a gym in Chiswick (where I met actress Vanessa Redgrave) and was lucky enough to secure a little room in a flat with two lovely posh English boys.

And when I say little, I mean little. It was big enough for a single bed, and about a foot of space around it. I struggled with homesickness and really living with others for the first time in that place, but on the whole I really enjoyed it. Particularly because of my flatmates (hi Sam!) - they were a whole different world than I'd ever seen - bars in Sloane Square with £15 cocktails, cabs, parties on the roof using a ladder they found on the street, it was always something new with them. I once got woken up to Sam drunkenly standing on our coffee table singing 'Sweet Home Alabama' (apparently my identifying tune) - I got into the living room just in time to see the table give way - legs everywhere, drink spilled, very dramatic! (spoiler, he was okay though!) - I loved that I got to spend so much time with English people, because as much as I loved the Ozzies at Globies, I came to England to immerse myself in the culture!

Oh yeah and I looked like this - why did I not realise dark hair makes my skin glow even whiter than usual?

I upped and left in July, only 6 months after arriving, for a trip home as my homesickness was so bad, but that I would say was the turning point in my life. Being home and realising nothing had changed - I wasn't missing anything, people would still be there, I should be enjoying my life! - really turned my thinking around and from that moment I loved living in London.

In a temp role I met my first real friend, who took me to Bar Rumba, the African music club where I spent every Sunday night for a year. I loved the music, the dancing, the attention I got... poor Sarah, I later even made her go there for a few months after we started dating (as a pop music lover, she did not love it like I did!).

Ready for Rumba, back in the day

And then... I started at Knowledge to Action. That fateful day, I met Sarah. And you all know how that went.

Six years on, I would never have thought I'd be where I am today. In love with a beautiful woman, getting married, having lived in Australia for a year, traveled all around, in a job I love, with our family home purchased, loving my life and the endless surprises and ups and downs along the way.

I still am prone to depression and anxiety, but the tools I was given by my life coach long ago paired with the joy it has given me to take control of my life here in England has made my doubts much easier to control. I'm lucky as well that over the years Sarah has learned just how to knock me out of it whenever I do have little lapses - and if worse comes to worst, a Skype with my mum always makes things better.

I'm very grateful to my parents for giving me that push I needed to do the best thing I've ever done in my life (move to England) and for the support when I wavered. I am so lucky to have made that leap and ended up where I am today.

On Being Thankful

One of my favourite things about November is the general acceptance that we will all be putting on weight this month, whether it's in the lead up to Thanksgiving, the cold and miserable comfort food-eating weather that England has bestowed upon us, or perhaps that it's almost Christmas kind of, so really there's no point in dieting now until January. But food, my friends, is not really what this post is supposed to be about.

My second favourite thing about November is mustaches. Isn't Movember amazing? It's the one thing that makes me wish I was a guy - the ability and social acceptance of mustached men. Don't worry, I can't grow one myself, though if I could, even as a woman, I'd most definitely start smoking a pipe and stroke it in the evenings before shaving and going out for the day. This post is taking a weird turn.

Right, anyway, what I'm here to talk about today is Thankfulness. I love it so much I've made it a proper noun. About 90% of the time I'm very thankful, and grateful, because I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Of course, as I'm sure most of us do, I'm sometimes a bit less than grateful - I'm part of the instant gratification generation, so I have a bad habit of always wanting 'more'. So it's nice to have a whole month to remember just how lucky we all are, am I right? 

I'm thankful for a fiancee who always makes me smile. Even when I'm trying really hard to be mad at her. Thank you Sarah, for loving my extreme holiday participation, and for going along with whatever fancy dress costume I want to put on you. For really appreciating my knack for cooking and baking, and making up for where I'm lacking in tidiness/cleanliness. For making all my bright weird and wonderful ideas happen, with a mind for details and realism, which I do love even though I call you my dream killer. It's in a loving way. Anyway, I don't know where I'd be without you, and I'm so very happy I won't have to find out for a very long time (ever, if I kick the bucket first!).

I'm thankful for my family, immediate, extended, and in-law-ed - this last year has been one of discovering for me, and being pleasantly surprised with how wonderful the people I'm related to are. Whether my parents are going completely above and beyond to help us plan and pay for the best wedding ever, or taking me on the trip of a lifetime for my 25th, or just being there to talk through my questions, concerns, and excitement about all that is going on in my life right now, I'm so grateful to have them so close, despite being so damn far away. Whether its my little brother, who is My grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, who have all been really accepting and supportive of me and love Sarah. Even my parents, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins -in law, who I never thought I'd get to properly know and love, have been just so incredible to us both over the last six months - without them, we wouldn't have our gorgeous new home! And without them letting their guard down and letting us in, Sarah especially wouldn't be nearly as happy as she is now. We're damn lucky in the family department.

And similarly, I'm thankful for our friends. They aren't many, but they are just so amazing, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We are lucky enough to know some of the most caring and supportive people in the world (we imagine). I mean, one of our best friends lives in Australia, literally the other side of the world, but we talk to her on a weekly basis. And we have people coming from all over the world to our little wedding in the back country of Idaho. There really isn't anything more humbling than that realisation!

I'm thankful for our new home, which is just completely a dream come true. From Sarah telling me (only six months ago!) it will take us 7 years to raise a deposit, to Margaret and Andy offering up the most generous loan, Sarah's sister chipping in, my parents taking the wedding pressure off, and some hardcore savings on our part.... it was made a reality. A real 'it takes a village' moment. It is just incredible that all these wonderful people trust us enough to do this for us, knowing that we will work our not-so-little bums off until we have paid back every penny. And in the meantime, get to slowly make this house our home.

I'm thankful for our ability to work, and that we are both lucky enough to be employed full time in this rocky economy. And that we both like our jobs, and they are able to help us pay back the above and still enjoy our time doing it.

One thing I'm not thankful for? People who have such a dramatic reaction to trying my homemade candied yams that they almost spit it out, in front of a good 10 people. That doesn't make me feel good. Having a sad moment.

Anyway, I brought Thanksgiving to my workplace today, with generally good results. People like cornbread, and my colleague managed to get the sandwich cafe downstairs to roast him a whole turkey. It was delicious, and very impressive. I'm so full, but must do some running around because....

Tonight we are going to our bridesmaid Alison's house for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner! I'm bringing the rest of my candied yams (which actually are delicious!) and cornbread, my favourite girl, and we'll sleep over with them tonight.

Two Thanksgiving dinners in one day - how could I ask for more?!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, please don't Black Friday shop today.