Baby Blogging: The End Of Breastfeeding!

13 months and 5 days ago our wonderful Annabelle joined our family and from the moment she arrived she has been breastfeeding. For the entire time I have been her Mum I have been breastfeeding her.

That was until now.

I haven't completely stopped breastfeeding but it is slowing down. And both Annabelle and I okay with it. I think. It's time.

Independent lady

The last hurdle we have to overcome is the midnight snack. For the last few weeks we have been giving Annabelle a bottle of cows milk at bedtime - around 5oz. Then just as we are drifting off to sleep Annabelle will wake up wanting food. At that point breastfeeding is the easiest option.

The same can be said of mornings. We haven't figured out getting a bottle ready in time for Annabelle waking up so I often pick her up and feed her. I also like the time we get together in the morning as often Annabelle wakes up super happy.

We are aiming to have ourselves sorted and Annabelle fully weaned by 15 months as we were reading that at that point she will develop a new sense of attachment that will be harder to break.

It's not easy writing that this is (almost) the end but then very little is easy raising a kid. The upside is that the rewards are amazing and constant. The enjoyment is more than I ever expected as Annabelle is no longer a baby it does make sense that she doesn't need me in quite the same way.

It's amazing reading the first post here and how far we have come.

Two months in we were finding our rhythm and I shared this post here on how I was getting on.

At nine months I shared this post here about preparing to go back to work and still breastfeed.

At ten months I was able to share this post on breastfeeding and working here.

And then this was the last post I shared on a year of breastfeeding here.

Happy world breastfeeding week to those Mum's out there who are able to breastfeed and kudos to those Mama's making it work feeding babies in another way!

Life Update: After The Storm Comes A Rainbow!

So a few weeks ago I shared this post: Sometimes The Struggle Is Real! Life had become somewhat overwhelming for a number of reasons and I wrote the post as a way of clearing my head and sharing what was going on with us.

That was a few weeks ago and opening this page to start this post I am in a much better place. Thankfully. Things haven't slowed down but things have become more manageable.

In fact we have spent the weekend singing, dancing and celebrating at Brighton Pride with my Mum, two Aunts and sister. It was an amazing weekend and wandering down Brighton pier I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I am surrounded by love and support and when things are tough I know my tribe are there for me.

My wonderful wife is the leader of the tribe, the brightest colour in my rainbow and the best support I could ever ask for.

In the last few weeks I have organised and run a conference for the growing sales team I am part of managing - 32 people at last count! We have launched new content in subjects I haven't had time to get up to speed on but have supported. I have been to different team meetings, met lots of new people and joined in with wider company activities in a away to get myself up to speed with things as quick as possible. The new normal is still a away off but I am working towards it.

And then home and Annabelle. Part of my struggle was because I was missing having time with Annabelle but in the last few weeks I feel like this has started to change, culminating with this weekend and today. This weekend I was able to get plenty of Annabelle time even though there were others that she spent time with. She was on top form and an absolute joy to be around. Today I had the day off and it felt so good - although she had a two hour nap which then left be tidying instead of spending time with her I was still able to enjoy her company, and catch up on Bisbee hugs. I guess naps are necessary sadly!

Annabelle has also been sleeping better so I am less tired. It's amazing what sleep can do for you. I always knew it but having the recent evidence has been eye-opining - or eye closing :)

I honestly don't think we could have handled Pride a few weeks ago. With the amount of house projects and stuff going on in life I think we would have felt too exhausted. However Laura really stepped it up and in the last week we had one of our bathrooms finished, the conservatory/playroom is almost completed - including a newly painted wall courtesy of Laura and the last bits will be down to us instead of workmen which is a really nice feeling.

It meant that the timing of Pride was a great celebration, a celebration of how far my Mum has come in accepting our relationship, a great celebration of being a rainbow family and a great celebration that love is really all you need.

We stayed in Worthing, a 20 minute drive from Brighton. we arrived on Friday, after a three hour drive from Birmingham and three hours of my Mum and Aunt Janette entertaining and feeding Annabelle. My Auntie Karen and sister arrived shortly after and we dined on fish and chips before catching up and bed.

Saturday was a fairly early start so we could get to Brighton, get parked and get to the parade route. We were able to find a spot and spread out on the curb so we could feed Annabelle before the parade arrived. It also meant we could rest our legs from the walk down. Much needed as we then spent two hours enjoying the parade.

After the parade we strolled towards Brighton pier and enjoyed the atmosphere, Annabelle loved watching the sea and we enjoyed the time with people special to us. Powered by doughnuts we made it back to the car and then the house for an evening of games and snacks.

On Sunday we explored Worthing and enjoy the beach front and another meal of fish and chips before heading back to Birmingham.

I don't know if it was the sea air, the rainbows everywhere we looked or just the outpouring of love but Brighton certainly brightened how I am feeling.

Onwards and upwards!

Travel: UK Day Trips - The Midlands!

The UK is amazing. I feel like we have started more than a few posts with that line over the year. Being based in the Midlands we have been able to take full advance of exploring this wonderful island.

We thought we'd take a moment to round up our UK highlights, it ended up being too much for one post so we have split it into three - starting with the Midlands, followed by the South and then the North! So if you want a day trip or mini break or long weekend then there might be somewhere for you to check out.

So without further ado here's our list:
Midlands:
Stratford-Upon-Avon: This beautiful town that sits beside the ever stunning Avon river is at its best in Summer. With events happening almost daily and enough history to keep you entertained for weeks this place is a MUST visit - here's a few more reasons why you need to add it to your to do list: post here.

Warwick: Another must for history fans and based in the middle of England is Warwick - home to the world famous castle and beautiful town sat among rolling hills. Easy to get to and jam packed with things to do this town is for everyone. If you want to read more on the castle check out what to expect here.

Birmingham: We couldn't miss out our home town. From the worlds largest Primark to entertain the shopping fans to Legoland and aquarium, more canals than Venice, parks galore, a wildlife conservation park and so, so, so much more you can't head to the Midlands and not visit Birmingham. Here's a couple of other reasons for stopping by: click here.

World's biggest Primark!

Photo from https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/guide/where-to-eat-birmingham

Nottingham: Home of Robin Hood and Sherwood Forest this city mixes ancient myth with modern offerings and is definitely worth a day trip. If you want to visit the area but avoid the hustle and bustle of the centre we suggest checking out Wollaton Hall, here's why.

Aston: Home of Aston Villa for the football fans - it is a super impressive stadium and home to Aston Hall - where James Watts (steam engine builder) this place is worth jumping on a train from Birmingham to see. The house offers tours and click here to see what to expect.

Cadburys World: A day eating and learning about chocolate is what you can expect with a trip to Cadbury's World and who doesn't love that?! Well actually if you don't there is so much more than a trip to the factory. Based Bourneville the factory is surrounded by the most chocolate box town you will ever see. Every building is beautiful, the park, the school - it's all perfect, and well worth a visit.  Oh and it's only a short drive or train ride from Birmingham. Click here for our experience.

The Cotswolds: We LOVE this beautiful part of the country so much. There are so many beautiful places to explore, small villages, chocolate box cottages, quaint cafes, stunning walks and places to relax. Whether it's admiring the fields of lavender (here's where you can check it out), walking by the river or figuring out is lower or upper slaughter is the prettiest you can get lost in the Cotswolds for days - we did and here's what we got up to - click here.

And if you want to wear your kids out or have a ton of fun yourself then Star City is also worth adding to the to-do list. With indoor mini golf, laser quest, bowling, roller rink and so much more you won't be bored on a visit. See what we did when we visited here.

Are there any Midland must do's that you would add to the list?

Life Update - Sometimes, The Struggle Is Real.

I am lucky. I am super lucky. And yet despite being super lucky I am struggling right now. The wonderful world of social media allows a snapshot into our life - the highlight reel if you like. It creates a grid filled with smiles and happy moments that we love to look back on. A Twitter feed of life observations and a Facebook timeline of curated content that shares our story.

All of it is true. No picture is ever faked - it may be retaken half a dozen times when the baby and dog are involved- but it is always capturing a moment that happened.

But that is never the whole story.

Instagram Stories are the closest you will get to seeing our real life. To seeing what goes into everyday. The highs, the lows and the moments in between. Catch us on a good day and you'd think we lead a privileged life - and we do. We lead a life we are very grateful for. Even that isn't the whole story though.

Life right now, for me at least, is hard. There are some days right now that I am really struggling through.

Just before I came back from maternity leave in April my company announced it had been acquired by a much bigger organisation. I came back to a Welcome Day where the company was sharing its vision and what the acquisition meant for the the staff. It was a day I am glad I made it back for.

What wasn't shared at the day was exactly how much is involved in the acquisition. I'm not sure anyone fully knew. I'm still not sure people know. All I know is for me it has meant a LOT more work. I left for maternity leave with a team of 6, and came back to a team of 9. That team is now 12. That is double the amount of people and triple the amount of work.

To add to the challenge, the 6 additions weren't recruited by me - I am having to get to know them, they have their own requirements on me and my time and are double the work of the original 6. I am having to do a lot of 'sucking it up' at the moment. The team's roles are changing, their targets are increasing and the way they work will be looked at. There is additional training, for them, for me. There are meetings to understand the wider company, their products on offer and all the while the wider business is trying to get hold of our account book to approach them themselves, potentially jeopardising existing relationships. I feel like everyday is endless calls trying to figure things out and find out more info. It can be exhausting.

I have never travelled for work as much as I have the last few months and I find myself doing that terrible thing of switching the laptop on once Annabelle has gone to bed in order to get through my inbox.

I am tired.

I am tired because of work and I am tired because I am adjusting to a wake up of 6 am. It's the time Annabelle has decided is her get up time. Occasionally she'll nap while I feed her first thing but most often she is awake and ready to go. Initially I was exhausted - I used to get up at 7.30 am but I am adjusting and now I'm just tired.

I am grateful she didn't start this wake up time in winter, at least in summer I get up to sunshine. This morning I actually appreciated the time with her before leaving for the train at 7 am. We are dozy but able to play and I can make sure I see her smile for what may be my only time that day.

Here lies one of my biggest struggles. My lack of time with Annabelle, or should I say lack of quality time. It used to be that Annabelle and I had all day every day together and I loved it - more than I thought I would (if you ever read this post). In fact I loved it so much I debated extending my maternity leave. For all the right reasons, I didn't, but I really wish I could head off on maternity leave for a couple of months with her at the moment. She's adorable right now. Except I usually see her when she's super tired and ready for bed. It means she smiles at me then cries wanting milk. That's my brief 'time with Annabelle'. If I'm lucky I get a quick play in but as soon as the clock strikes 6.55 pm, it's bedtime.

Then there's the small matter of a flat I own in Scotland causing issues. Firstly there was a large tax bill (another story) but the long and the short of it being I didn't know I should have been paying tax and when I found out I declared it and got threatened with a £35k fine. This all happened on maternity leave. Thankfully it ended up being nearer £8k but that blew all our maternity leave savings. It's something I feel guilty about no matter how many times Laura tells me not to. Then my tenant handed in her notice and the fridge broke. It's a lot of expense at a time we really don't need it. We can't sell it as nothing is selling in that area and if we can't find a new tenant we'll have two mortgages to cover. I am struggling with a lot of guilt about it. It was an investment I made when I was younger and now we are both having to look after it.

The final thing I am struggling with is my role within our relationship. We are a team. We are a great team but Laura is the MVP. She cooks, she cleans, shes organises our life. She does the nursery drop off and pick up and looks after all Annabelle's schedule and preparation. She plans and executes - our conservatory wouldn't have been built for years (if ever) if left to me. We'd never go on holiday. Weekends would come and go without me noticing. Laura shops, she makes sure we are seeing our friends, she hosts events to thank our family and friends for their support and all while she is making me feel loved and appreciated. To say the roles are unequally split at the moment is an understatement.

My hero

Sure there are some things I do, I do my best whenever and wherever I can but I am best when I focus on one thing at a time and with my brain absorbed at work it means it takes me longer to achieve anything. Laura never lets her frustration show. In fact when I admit I am struggling she's the one who tells me I do enough. It gets me through.

I made a deal with myself and Laura on my birthday that I would focus less on what I am not doing and more on what I am doing. I will focus on my achievements and where I am making progress. I will stress less about what I can't impact and accept that sometimes things are shit, and that's okay, it won't be that way forever. And I will look after myself - prioritising doing what makes me happy. I did that today. I had a meeting scheduled for the end of the day that would have meant I got back at 8 pm. When the meeting was rescheduled I jumped on our booking system and changed my train time (I wouldn't have done this previously as it cost my company money but today I thought - I'm part of a bigger company and you know what, they won't notice the loss) and I will get a small time with Annabelle when I get in at 6.30 pm. This makes me happy.

I know this feeling of struggling won't last. I know that there are reasons for feeling like I do and those reasons will change over time. I know that getting more sleep will help. I know that acknowledging I am struggling, rather than persevering and feeling alone, will help. I know that making small changes is already helping. I also know that capturing the happy moments every day are good reminders that even on the hard days there are reasons to smile. I am lucky, I know that. I just have to get through this tough time and acknowledge that it's just that - a period in time.