Baby Blogging - Breastfeeding - The Truth!

Two months ago I wrote this post on breastfeeding. Annabelle was 20 days old and I would have classed myself as a complete newbie finding my way with the help of Annabelle. It has definitely an experience since then.

At 21 days I was starting to manage the pain and we were finding a routine that meant Annabelle wasn't constantly feeding and I wasn't able to go anywhere without her.

Now two months later here's the latest:

• Annabelle is still breastfeeding like a champ
• Our routine is clearer, after a nap it's nappy change then feed. We have 2-3 hours awake time then a quick feed and back to napping. Unless she is having an 'awake day' in which case napping is non-existent and the 'quick feed' is just a brief pause before needing another nappy change
• I am enjoying it
• It's not the bonding experience I thought it would be because
• The back, shoulder and neck ache is real
• I now express daily so other people (mainly Laura) can feed Annabelle and we can leave her with other people
• Our freezer looks like a very weird ice-cream mix up with so many bags of milk
• 'Have boob will travel' has become our response to being asked if we want to go anywhere
• Being able to breastfeed has reduced prep time for heading out - we just make sure we have nappies, cream and a change of clothes and off we go
• My boob has been out in restaurants, parks, the middle of Manchester and in plenty of car parks and I couldn't care less
• Breastfeeding is mutually beneficial for Annabelle and I, and not in a mother earth way..... in a way that if I go too long with feeding her my boobs hurt so bad I will feed her before shes even announced she's hungry
• Public loo pumping is a thing I do now
• The amount of 'white' marks that are appearing on clothes, cushions, furniture is ridiculous.... it's amazing how much mess can be made out of milk!

Okay so that was a brain dump but here's the context.....
Overall I am glad to be able to breastfeed, it is super convenient and easy. It makes whole days out possible, like when we headed to Manchester, or our road trip to see family.  Yet the downsides do exist and in some ways I can't believe I have never heard much about them.

When I go more than a few hours without feeding the pain is crazy. Imagine inflating balloons in your bra, so they have no room to go anywhere BUT the balloons aren't soft, they are filled with concrete so they are heavy and the weight is painful. That's what it is like. It means that 2 hours into heading to see Britney I had to spend 20 minutes in the toilets (thankfully in the gap between Pitbull and Britney) with a hand pump expressing. The same happened at the wedding reception we attended. Oh and on the train to Bournemouth for my keep in touch day. And at the spa day I had with my Mum and sister. The hand pump is a life saver - a slow, hard work, manually intensive work out but a life saver. If I couldn't relief the pressure I would probably end up leaking everywhere and in a lot of pain.

Interestingly I saw this article about a Mum doing a 103 mile marathon race and at the stops she breastfeed and pumped. I was more impressed that she was doing the marathon than breastfeeding but reading the article this comment stood out from her: 'Oh my god I was in agony! Cormac usually feeds every three hours and it took me 16 to get to Courmayeur where he could first meet me so I was hand expressing everywhere I could en route. 

'I was so relieved he was hungry!'

This to me sums up breastfeeding.

Link

And OMG this is TMI but if Annabelle has been asleep for longer than usual the pressure release when she does feed causes my boob to literally soak her, the pressure causes streams of milk to fly out and if she pulls back she gets a face full before I can stop it. It is both funny and awful all at once.

The other thing I am suffering with is back, neck and shoulder pain as Annabelle gets heavier. Sure sat at home I am surrounded by supportive pillows but that doesn't help the pain caused by stooping or gazing at Annabelle. Honestly the pictures promoting it as a 'bonding experience as you gaze at each other' are SO wrong. When I do look at Annabelle my neck hurts, when I look to long I get so round shouldered. In fact when getting a massage at the spa the lady commented how 'seized up my back was' and it's really common with breastfeeding.....oh and that I should get regular massages....I wish :) This trip for a facial really helped though!

So when I say it is mutually beneficial that is the truest statement I could make. Annabelle gets fed and my boobs stop hurting - I am not looking forward to when we start weaning her. The hand pump will have to be on stand by! The weight loss is also an added benefit....but my balance may be off as i'm sure I am eating more than the 500 calories extra a day.

On a plus side the nighttime leakage has stopped, I am using an old maternity bra with breast pads and it's only if and when Annabelle sleeps more than 7 hours that I wake up drowning in my milk. Or in soaking sheets. I mean seriously who romanticises breastfeeding????

The nighttime feeds are also easier as I can roll on my side and feed Annabelle as I doze so I am less 'awake' and therefore able to fall back asleep easily when she has finished. I did see this image that made me laugh though - I am sure Annabelle can relate!

Okay this is a pretty perfect moment...satisfied post feed!

Having said all that it is Annabelle and I time and I wouldn't swap that for anything. Her happy gurgling and the smiles when she's finished are enough motivation to get through any back pain. Plus she is growing well and is healthy so I plan to continue.

The 'have boob will travel' line has meant that Annabelle has just fitted in. We were asked the other day how life pre-Annabelle compares to life with Annabelle and we struggled to think of any real challenges. We pack a bit more, take a bit longer to get anywhere and you may have to continue talking to me why I get my boob out (with some dignity I hope thanks to the one top up and one top down method) but other than that we still get up and go. We have been able to continuing to discovering Birmingham on nights out thanks to Buckt (more on this later and on Instagram) and the support of my wonderful Mum and sister and local friends. In fact only last night was I feeding Annabelle in Grand Central station before leaving her with friends while Laura and I went to smash things up in a Rage Room.

What I would say is breastfeeding also involves a lot of support. Sure I provide the boob but if I din't have Laura shielding me when my 'boob removal' is not going to plan I would give some poor strangers a fright. Plus Laura is on hand with muslins, bibs, clothes as you never know when Annabelle will decide to give me back the milk or share it with someone nearby. When my back really hurts mid feed Laura places her ever supportive hand on my back to ease the pain and more than that she will help hold Annabelle when she is fidgeting.

More than all of the above Laura is also the first to say 'let me feed Annabelle' when we have had an awake day. That offer is no small/easy offer. Defrosting the frozen milk, heating it to the right temperature and doing it while Annabelle is screaming is not an easy task, yet she does it - often.

It's amazing as even having Annabelle I wouldn't say we have become super Mumsy, at the start I judged myself for that. I read posts by other saying that their child was 'everything' and don't get me wrong Annabelle is our everything but her easy going nature and willingness to be breastfeed anywhere have meant we and I especially have kept a sense of myself. Yes I know I breastfeed but yes I still go out, yes I still explore and yes Laura and I still have time to ourselves. We are like we have always been but with an extra amazing addition.

Post feed snuggles are the best

My final thought on the subject right now is the un-comfortableness I feel when propositioning Annabelle with my boob - anyone else notice how the terms used all sound a bit too.....erm weird to say to a baby. Lines such as 'come on you know you want it', 'just put in your mouth', 'stop messing around down there this isn't the time for fun and games', 'OMG that feels so good' (generally after a gap in feeding after the above reasons). I feel weird even writing that but it makes Laura and I laugh, often.

Are you breastfeeding? Do you feel the same? Have you experienced the pain? Any tips?