Life Update - Sometimes, The Struggle Is Real.

I am lucky. I am super lucky. And yet despite being super lucky I am struggling right now. The wonderful world of social media allows a snapshot into our life - the highlight reel if you like. It creates a grid filled with smiles and happy moments that we love to look back on. A Twitter feed of life observations and a Facebook timeline of curated content that shares our story.

All of it is true. No picture is ever faked - it may be retaken half a dozen times when the baby and dog are involved- but it is always capturing a moment that happened.

But that is never the whole story.

Instagram Stories are the closest you will get to seeing our real life. To seeing what goes into everyday. The highs, the lows and the moments in between. Catch us on a good day and you'd think we lead a privileged life - and we do. We lead a life we are very grateful for. Even that isn't the whole story though.

Life right now, for me at least, is hard. There are some days right now that I am really struggling through.

Just before I came back from maternity leave in April my company announced it had been acquired by a much bigger organisation. I came back to a Welcome Day where the company was sharing its vision and what the acquisition meant for the the staff. It was a day I am glad I made it back for.

What wasn't shared at the day was exactly how much is involved in the acquisition. I'm not sure anyone fully knew. I'm still not sure people know. All I know is for me it has meant a LOT more work. I left for maternity leave with a team of 6, and came back to a team of 9. That team is now 12. That is double the amount of people and triple the amount of work.

To add to the challenge, the 6 additions weren't recruited by me - I am having to get to know them, they have their own requirements on me and my time and are double the work of the original 6. I am having to do a lot of 'sucking it up' at the moment. The team's roles are changing, their targets are increasing and the way they work will be looked at. There is additional training, for them, for me. There are meetings to understand the wider company, their products on offer and all the while the wider business is trying to get hold of our account book to approach them themselves, potentially jeopardising existing relationships. I feel like everyday is endless calls trying to figure things out and find out more info. It can be exhausting.

I have never travelled for work as much as I have the last few months and I find myself doing that terrible thing of switching the laptop on once Annabelle has gone to bed in order to get through my inbox.

I am tired.

I am tired because of work and I am tired because I am adjusting to a wake up of 6 am. It's the time Annabelle has decided is her get up time. Occasionally she'll nap while I feed her first thing but most often she is awake and ready to go. Initially I was exhausted - I used to get up at 7.30 am but I am adjusting and now I'm just tired.

I am grateful she didn't start this wake up time in winter, at least in summer I get up to sunshine. This morning I actually appreciated the time with her before leaving for the train at 7 am. We are dozy but able to play and I can make sure I see her smile for what may be my only time that day.

Here lies one of my biggest struggles. My lack of time with Annabelle, or should I say lack of quality time. It used to be that Annabelle and I had all day every day together and I loved it - more than I thought I would (if you ever read this post). In fact I loved it so much I debated extending my maternity leave. For all the right reasons, I didn't, but I really wish I could head off on maternity leave for a couple of months with her at the moment. She's adorable right now. Except I usually see her when she's super tired and ready for bed. It means she smiles at me then cries wanting milk. That's my brief 'time with Annabelle'. If I'm lucky I get a quick play in but as soon as the clock strikes 6.55 pm, it's bedtime.

Then there's the small matter of a flat I own in Scotland causing issues. Firstly there was a large tax bill (another story) but the long and the short of it being I didn't know I should have been paying tax and when I found out I declared it and got threatened with a £35k fine. This all happened on maternity leave. Thankfully it ended up being nearer £8k but that blew all our maternity leave savings. It's something I feel guilty about no matter how many times Laura tells me not to. Then my tenant handed in her notice and the fridge broke. It's a lot of expense at a time we really don't need it. We can't sell it as nothing is selling in that area and if we can't find a new tenant we'll have two mortgages to cover. I am struggling with a lot of guilt about it. It was an investment I made when I was younger and now we are both having to look after it.

The final thing I am struggling with is my role within our relationship. We are a team. We are a great team but Laura is the MVP. She cooks, she cleans, shes organises our life. She does the nursery drop off and pick up and looks after all Annabelle's schedule and preparation. She plans and executes - our conservatory wouldn't have been built for years (if ever) if left to me. We'd never go on holiday. Weekends would come and go without me noticing. Laura shops, she makes sure we are seeing our friends, she hosts events to thank our family and friends for their support and all while she is making me feel loved and appreciated. To say the roles are unequally split at the moment is an understatement.

My hero

Sure there are some things I do, I do my best whenever and wherever I can but I am best when I focus on one thing at a time and with my brain absorbed at work it means it takes me longer to achieve anything. Laura never lets her frustration show. In fact when I admit I am struggling she's the one who tells me I do enough. It gets me through.

I made a deal with myself and Laura on my birthday that I would focus less on what I am not doing and more on what I am doing. I will focus on my achievements and where I am making progress. I will stress less about what I can't impact and accept that sometimes things are shit, and that's okay, it won't be that way forever. And I will look after myself - prioritising doing what makes me happy. I did that today. I had a meeting scheduled for the end of the day that would have meant I got back at 8 pm. When the meeting was rescheduled I jumped on our booking system and changed my train time (I wouldn't have done this previously as it cost my company money but today I thought - I'm part of a bigger company and you know what, they won't notice the loss) and I will get a small time with Annabelle when I get in at 6.30 pm. This makes me happy.

I know this feeling of struggling won't last. I know that there are reasons for feeling like I do and those reasons will change over time. I know that getting more sleep will help. I know that acknowledging I am struggling, rather than persevering and feeling alone, will help. I know that making small changes is already helping. I also know that capturing the happy moments every day are good reminders that even on the hard days there are reasons to smile. I am lucky, I know that. I just have to get through this tough time and acknowledge that it's just that - a period in time.

Christmas Eve 2015: Spa Day!

Christmas is a magical time of year, that cannot be denied. It's a time for kind gestures and thoughtfulness and we love it.

This Christmas Eve I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of Laura's thoughtfulness when I was woken up to a surprise gift. Inside of a Christmas card were details of my first present - a Spa Day and we were to leave immediately.

The Spa was just outside Stratford-upon-Avon at Hallmark Hotel Welcombe . The location was beautiful, set in rolling countryside with stunning views in each direction. Driving up the long driveway it was as if we were entering a new world. One of relaxation, peacefulness and of no distractions - it was almost as if the craziness of Christmas wasn't happening.

We left home just after 9.30am and dropped Bisbee off at the dog sitter's Laura had thought to organise so we could relax for as long as we wanted. From there it was straight up the motorway for a 10.30am arrival at the Spa.

On check in we received Spa bags complete with towels, dressing gowns and slippers and were shown around the facilities. This included a Sauna, Steam Room, Caldarium, Laconium and Tepidarium - and an ice shower to have between rooms to help with blood flow and keep you refreshed - it worked a treat!

There were also foot spas, Jacuzzi's, a full sized swimming pool, a Fesco Vitality pool (that was outside), a tropical rain shower, heated stone loungers and a full gym (which we didn't use).

As if that wasn't enough, the package Laura had gotten also included a champagne Cream Tea and a treatment!

I had a pedicure and L had the manicure - both were half an hour treatments done by lovely girls who were very focused on making sure we remained relaxed. I think I even nodded off :)

The day was perfect, the location amazing and best of all, it was so quiet in the Spa that it felt like real quality time together. It's not often that we get time to relax, indulge and focus on us but this was a great opportunity to do just that. It was even better that it was after a busy few weeks being here, there and everywhere with Christmas preparations and social engagements. It also meant we walked out feeling like we were floating on clouds - exactly what we needed to allow us to get our last few food bits from Tesco's without getting involved in the chaos.

Our Spa glow also lasted through Christmas day and we have decided that if we can we will make sure and book something similar every year. New tradition!

Boise, Bath, A Gig and A Monday Night Adventure!

Remember that one time just over a year ago when we got married? It was in the wilderness of Idaho and we were surrounded by family and friends. To make that wilderness wedding ready there was plenty of preparation and while Soiree Weddings did a lot of the planning, we also received massive support from Laura's school friend Julia.

Julia is a childhood friend of Laura; she is an artist and an all-round awesome person, one we have thankfully been able to catch up with on every return trip to Laura's home city. We even got her to Vegas for our bachelorette party! Julia designed our wedding invitations, save the dates, and seating plan globes, she also recommended our photographers - who were amazing - and our band Hillfolk Noir! Julia knows everyone who is talented in Boise - or so it seems.

It is actually the band that I wanted to write this post on -with all the events of the day we barely got to see the band perform so we couldn't really share our memories, we just heard our guests' reactions. They played as we walked down the aisle and as we left but it was only on the way to the cocktail hour that we finally heard a bit before being whisked off for our introduction.

We said on the day that we were sad that we hadn't been able to see more of them but we were just glad that they had been such a success. We agreed that we would track them down if they ever came to the UK though, so we could see what everyone was talking about.

So on Monday evening we made the 200 mile round trip to Bath to see them perform in the Bell Inn. We also invited my parents along and thankfully they could make it. The four of us met outside the pub and with Bisbee in tow we went and found some seats - it was a great live music venue, not particularly big but big enough to fit a crowd and get a good atmosphere going on. We got a chance to say hi before they started but only briefly. It was a good turnout!

Hillfolk Noir play 100% original Junkerdash! This is from their website:
Fronted by singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Travis Ward, Hillfolk Noir is a trio of neo-traditionalists playing traditional music on traditional instruments for non-traditional times. They call it Junkerdash, and it’s a sound brewed from folk, bluegrass, punk, string-band blues and other influences musical and otherwise.

Hillfolk Noir’s touring line up consists of:
Travis Ward: Guitar, suitcase, harmonica and singing
Alison Ward: Musical saw, washboard, banjo and singing
Mike Waite: Double bass

They are not your average band - They are far better!

As they started their set we were loving it and then came the stories - they explained they from Idaho (not somewhere known by many Brits) and painted a picture of the place that made both me and L want to grab the next flight there. A few songs later they said before starting the next song they wanted to explain a memory associated with it.

Just over a year ago they had packed up their van and headed up to the mountains of Idaho for a vacation and to do some fishing. After arriving at their destination Travis decided to head further into the wilderness to find the perfect fly fishing location. Some 7 or 8 miles up the road his van blew a tyre. It was super hot, with no phone signal and no spare he thought it best to make the trip back to the cabin they were staying at rather than wait for help. En route he found a pack of beer that had (presumably) fallen off a truck. He drunk the beers as he walked and eventually made it back at about 1am, by this time to some very concerned friends and family. They were able to call for support to repair the van but it was going to take a bit of time. The next day they had a gig so time was not something they had. They called a family friend who was able to make the 3-4 our drive up with a truck, they loaded all their instruments and made the drive to another isolated part of the mountains, Garden Valley, to get to the gig.

They pointed us out at that point - that gig was OUR wedding! We had no idea. We hadn't realised that less than 24 hours before they had been stranded somewhere else, or that they turned up with their stuff thrown in the back of a truck. We were so lucky they (and all their instruments) made it. And we would had never known had we not made it to this gig.

Rocking our wedding - that's right Alison is playing the saw!

At the break we rushed over to them, we got to reminisce about the wedding and the craziness they had gone through, we chatted for a good 20 minutes. They gave us copies of their albums and we bought them drinks. They were awesome. It was like we had known them for ages. They told us about their tour of the UK and how they had spent quite a bit of time in Scotland - cue my Mum getting excited - it turns out they played gigs not far from her home town. And then the Boise link - they had met Julia at a music festival years ago, and Julia had designed the art work on their latest album. How awesome! We like to think that if we all lived in Boise we would all be friends :)

Sometimes in life putting in the extra effort is definitely worth it. The buzz we had from the concert sustained us on the 2 hour drive home and through the next day at work on 5 hours of sleep. It was worth every minute. Even Bisbee agrees. Throughout the gig she sat on my lap watching the band, making everyone around fall in love with her without making a sound. She got a quick walk at the break courtesy of my Dad and then she slept anytime we were in the car - we got so lucky with her that she is happy to go wherever we do.

However, the very next day Bisbee committed a terrible sin - she chewed the album we had been listening to! I had foolishly taken out of the laptop and left it on the table in the rush to leave for a hairdresser appointment and she had managed to reach up, pull it over......and chew it! We won't lie, there were tears!

By sheer luck my parents had stayed down in Bristol to see a football game and were able to track the band down to their next gig and get a replacement - we were so lucky! We will definitely make time to see them when they are back and if they are ever in your area we suggest you drop in :)

I am about to blow your mind!

Well okay I won't blow your mind I might just change the way you think about certain things and if you are anything like me when someone tells you something that changes what you once knew *mind blown*!

Here's an example: Mount Everest is the tallest mountain - I have always been told this is true or had I always thought this was true? All I know is if I had ever been asked the question I would have answered Mount Everest. However the tallest mountain is in fact Mauna Kea, Mount Everest just has the highest peak!

See *mind blown*

How about this one: The forbidden fruit mentioned in Genesis is an apple - right? Wrong! Well maybe right but in actual fact the bible doesn't actually name the forbidden fruit it's just been passed through the history books that it was referring to an apple! Makes you wonder what else in the bible has been interpreted the wrong way or in a way that suits the person reading it- sorry I won't go there - but seriously I have only ever seen pictures depicting an apple!

I was reading a list of misconceptions that people believe to be true in the paper this morning, the article is here, and it is fascinating. The study was conducted by Ripleys Believe it or Not in London. I love history and I love knowing how things started or how phrases originated - I did a fun fact Friday on it way back when: here and here (this was the original)- so these kinds of articles always get my attention.

Source

It never fails to amaze me how much we take as fact without ever doubting it, whether it be an old wives tale, a superstition or just out of habit or because our parents did it yet how much has the world changed? How much more do we know now compared to ever 20 years ago? How much do we now turn to Google for instead of our parents? However old beliefs die hard and I for one know first hand that changing someone's mind can take years even if you are armed with all the facts.

I always love to drop in that homosexuality is present in every species yet homophobia is only present in one because that tends to end any debate on 'being gay is a new thing' or 'why are there so many more gay people now - it must be because more people are reading about it'!

Now a few of the misconceptions I did know about or had figured out but vitamin c is not an effective treatment for a cold - what! That's right it builds up an immune system helping prevent cold and flu but once you have it scientists say there is little or no evidence that vitamin c will help you fight it!

That goldfish only have a 3 second memory - I always thought this wasn't the case and now it has been proven - goldfish actually react to light and music and other sensory cues! I knew Nigel and John (my goldfish of 12 years) were listening to me although my family convinced me I was imaging it.

And that shaving doesn't make hair grow back quicker - I have been told that it does by Laura on a regular basis and now I feel like I finally have the proof! It does appear that shaving encourages hair growth but in reality it's just stubble - hair grows at the same rate and thickness whether you shave frequently or not.

Another one I will have to drop into conversation at some point is the fact that we don't just have 5 senses - did you know we actually have at least nine and research says it's actually more like 21!

Finally and because I have one bothering me now - houseflies only live for 24 hours - not true! They can live for a month in the wild - right let me find that fly swat I can't work with the incessant buzzing!

The buzzing by the way is the beating of it's two wings #notsofunfact.

So there you have it - did I blow your mind? Have you got any misconceptions that you always thought were true until one day some article or some person challenged your very beliefs?

Oh and a quick dog fact - the 1 human year = 7 dog years is just a myth, it can vary depending on the size and breed of dog quite significantly.

Things To Look Forward To!

We are sure you can guess by now that every post for at least the next month will be about our wedding. Hey have you heard we are getting married? Well, we have been looking forward for this for so long, and we are just SO excited, so sorry not sorry! :)

Right now I/we are in that awkward balance between getting so excited we could burst and getting on with reality, it’s hard to pick an emotion sometimes!

While reality isn’t too bad for either of us, the travelling to and from work is taking vital time away from what we really want to be doing – finalising details, making sure everything is organised, making sure everyone is organised and planning our outfits! Oh and exercising and eating healthy – that takes time and effort (and will power!!)! We are trying to stick to the to-do lists, finding logical ways through what needs to be done and playing to each other’s strengths when dividing the tasks but all we really want to do is stay home together and enjoy this time.

Don’t get me wrong, at this point this isn’t stressful, it’s just busy! We only plan on doing this once and want everything to be perfect, we don’t want to look back and think ‘if only we had more time’.

Our Mum’s have been amazing, having L’s stateside has been such a help. Like L she is so organised and I would trust her to organise this wedding without us. Not only is L’s Mum super helpful she also has the ‘art’ gene and as well as helping out with our bridesmaid boxes at the very start of this process she is also making all the signs we will have around the venue! We can’t wait to see her and thank her in person as the barrage of thank you messages must be filling up every inbox!

Then my Mum - living with my Mum during the week means we can sit down on Sunday night and plan out our week, all 3 of us then walk away with our to-do lists and guaranteed my Mum will have hers done first and will be helping us do ours. A really good strength is that my mum thinks of EVERYTHING, I mean when we think we have it covered my Mum will list off 3 of 4 key things that we would have forgotten and been screwed! She’s also big into kicking everyone else into action – getting ESTA’s, booking things etc! Oh and we can’t forget the ‘wedding traditions’ she has reminded of that we would have been sad to miss……something borrowed, something blue, something old and something new, etc!

On days when excitement is reaching fever pitch all we can do is ring each other and sound like kids at Christmas. We will have a call just to talk about what we are excited about – seeing everyone, the venue, the food, VEGAS!, the table decorations, everyone having a great time, the restaurants we plan to go to, hiring the limo in Vegas, white water rafting, wearing our new clothes, everyone seeing the dresses and our plans come together – okay you get the idea- EVERYTHING!

And the fact that we haven’t had a holiday since last September means we are long overdue for a break! So even the thought of getting on a plane is exciting!

All I need to do now is figure out how to stop crying! Every card, incredibly generous contribution to our house fund, thoughtful email, text, tweet, facebook message or song!!!!! gets me. I will cry because I so damn happy, I’ll cry because I can't do anything else, I’ll cry from feeling overwhelmed at the kindness, I will CRY! I am hoping this excessive crying means I will not have tears left on the day. I know we will have our make-up genius on hand but there’s nothing she can do if I have a constant waterfall and at this rate that’s all it will be!!!

With every evening pretty much booked out at hair appointments, facials, nail appointments, eye lash extension appointments, tanning, L’s Nan turning 89, seeing the Bodyguard courtesy of our lovely friend Jemma, fitting in exercise and one last Nando’s, we know these last couple of weeks will fly, I just hope we don’t miss them! I am both wishing my life away and trying to hold on to every moment, ah the conflicts J

The Ramblings Of A Bride-To-Be

Do you ever have that feeling that there just aren't enough hours in the day, days in the week or weeks in a month? I mean, it is just me, did I miss March and April and some how land up in mid-May? Is everyone this busy?

Sitting here at lunch, a lunch break I am enforcing myself to have so I can start work afresh in a bit, I just wrote my to-do lists - a work one, a personal one, a wedding one and a things not to forget one. How is it that I now need 4 to-do lists to manage my one life?

I know that commuting 2 hours both ways to work limits the 'free time' Laura and I get to enjoy but in all honesty that time is well used - I don't remember the last journey where we didn't plan, agree or organise at least one thing! For anyone who has read this blog over the past few months you will know that L is an efficient, effective planner so there is no way we aren't going to get things sorted and organised!

Lets hope :)

This post is almost written to distract my brain, it's therapy so I can say to someone, anyone, everyone that I survived having 4 to-do lists! I mean once we have the wedding that will be 1 to-do list done, and three is far more manageable right?!

My face doing our seating plan

We have a wedding post coming up so I won't cover whats in that, but it's all exciting, it's coming together - I can't quite believe it's 1 month and 6 days away! And only one month till we leave - or 20 working days!!!!

Then there's the personal stuff - simple things like remembering to moisturize, plan in exercise - I am walking the 1.5 miles from the station while L tans or getting off at the closer stop so we can get home earlier and go for a jog/stroll. But then there's appointments - L already has hers planned but I'll be going looking like I've spent 3 weeks in a jungle if I'm not careful!

It's amazing how much you really have to plan things through when time is tight - we have worked out anything less than 6 hours sleep doesn't work - then we deal with half asleep driving, falling asleep at the desk by 3 - but we can't seem to be able to eat dinner, get petrol, exercise, both have showers and get to bed in time in one evening - we have to schedule. Seeing friends becomes a logistical plan.....if we meet X here at 6.30pm we can get back to the car by 9pm then home by 10.30pm leaving time for one of us to have a shower - you get the idea!

It means right now we are living for the weekends, just to have time to stop and reevaluate and enjoy being together. We know it'll all be worth it but it has been so great having this blog space to record our experiences - jointly, separately, the good, the bad and the plain crazy! I mean remember when we got legally married?! That was almost 2 months ago - WHAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!!

And I can't forget the job to-do list, ever growing, ever changing - this job has been more than I ever expected! In previous jobs I thought I was busy but here as well as still learning I am attending events and doing all kinds of things I knew I could do just never had the chance! I have my 6 month probation review on the 16th June and I am really hoping I can become an official Unicorn Trainer at that point!

My favourite Unicorn things so far!

Finally, the things not to forget - this is the hardest of all lists, part of it is on my phone, in notebooks, on paper in my bag - literally anywhere I could find somewhere to write when the thought hit me. I have never had the greatest of memories - those puzzles on Survivor, you know where you have to memorise things - would screw me. I can remember random facts, interesting stories - a colleague is a bee keeper and I have now shared my bee knowledge with more than a few people - I digress! Ah you see a perfect example -if I don't write it down when I think about it, it goes! So the things not to forget - this includes saying thank you to people - for helping, for cards, for thoughtful messages, for gifts, for being there for us but it also covers things liked getting insurance, paying car tax etc.

So there you have it - the chaotic ramblings of a bride-to-be with 5 weeks to go. Hopefully in a year I'll look back at this post and smile at how busy I was while I relax in our house, with our puppy and a very happy wife!

Don't make a spectacle of yourself now!

Vanity: excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit:

I wouldn’t generally call myself a vain person, hey there are some days I wouldn’t even call myself a person – more like a lounging sloth – but that is besides the point, right now I am suffering from a mild bout of vanity.

It was almost a year ago that Laura experienced the terrible trauma with the blind-spot in her eye (read all about it here) and thankfully the times that she needs to wear an eye patch and become a pirate are few and far between. If even she did rock it! Well last night we found ourselves back at the very same hospital where Laura was diagnosed except this time it was for me!

Last Wednesday I woke up to my eyes being incredibly bloodshot, I thought I may be over tired or a little hung over so I put my contacts in and continued on my day. By the time I got home my eyes were so red that I had been asked numerous times ‘what’s wrong, why are you upset?’ Thankfully they didn’t itch or sting so I thought it was maybe time to change my contacts – or leave them out for a few days. However that didn’t work and trip to the eye hospital was suggested.

This is where vanity kicks in for me! I dislike, nay hate wearing my glasses, it brings up a whole bunch of weird emotions that I never feel at any other time and I don’t like it. In the instance of putting on my glasses I feel defensive, like I’m missing out and ugly. I have no idea why but looking at myself in glasses is worse than looking in the mirror after days of illness. And my glasses aren't even that bad!

This pretty much sums it up:

I feel like I am the 7 year old kid that was devastated that I would have to sit out of certain sports in case my glasses broke or had to sit at the front of the class just to see. But here is the weird thing: no-one remembers me wearing glasses at school! How is it that the event was SO big for me but no-one else noticed? I mean there are no photos, my Mum and Dad both said they gave up making me wear them as I would ‘lose’ them so frequently yet some 20 years later I remember hating my glasses!

Moreover if I wear my glasses over a long period of time I get headaches behind my ears, I have a new pair on order, but the ones I currently have are doing my head in. Then there is the constantly slipping off my nose, the act of pushing them back on at least matches my nickname of swot (extra clever, suck up J) at work.

When L& I are alone and we are both wearing our glasses I do have less of an issue but still I get frustrated when I can’t find things or at having to clean my lenses. I honestly can’t believe how contact lenses changed my life. Talking to a colleague this morning I likened discovering contact lenses as learning to drive – it gives you freedom and a new perspective!

So while I sit here and feel a bit too ugly to be out in the world I will give myself a good talking to and hold my head up high, at least with antibiotics and steroids for my eyes they should be on the mend and I won’t continue to look upset for no reason! 

In 20 years of glasses wearing this is the ONLY photo of me wearing them that I actually like, but that maybe more about the hat and the fact I have a tan!

We Need A Hero!!

Fancy dress, dressing up, costumes – whatever you call them, they can be a source of great joy or great dread.  In typical US vs UK style you can imagine which one of us enjoyed the dressing up thing more when we first got together!

However, over the years the US vs UK battle has become more of a style vs effort one. While one of us is ‘go big or go home’ the other is ‘really do we have to spend that much????’ On more than one occasion the go big or go home option has won out and the result has amazing (even if we do say so ourselves).

But today, we find ourselves in a predicament. We have decided to host a ‘Super Heroes and Villains’ fancy dress night as part of our Bachelorette in Vegas. As expected, the feedback has been mixed but not for the reason you might think - but because people can get quite defensive/protective over their costume of choice.

We are trying to find out people’s ideas so we can intercept if we hear two people are picking the same option. That makes it sound like we are organised though – we are trying, but we are NOT!

Laura has tried – emailing, skyping, and thrusting ideas in my face – while I am scared to commit. Initially Laura came across these amazing swim suits at Black Milk which she was set on, but the cost plus the variable delivery time and unknown custom charges make them VERY expensive options however much we love them.

BlackMilk Clothing

Option two was to then scour the internet for the next best thing - but that has raised a new challenge, just who do we go as. And as we know our loyal blog readers are always supportive we thought we ask for your help! Who do you think we should pick?

Batman and Wonder Woman - our original choice, because Laura has always wanted to dress as Batman, and Wonder Woman is hot. BUT they don't really look like they go together, and we haven't been able to find a Batman outfit we like. (on a side note did you know that some fandom's ran with the idea that Batman and Wonder Woman are a couple) 

Batman and Robin - That Robin costume is adorable! The only thing is that Laura doesn't like the idea of Sarah being her sidekick instead of a superhero in her own right :

Superman and Wonder Woman - Laura's never really loved Superman, but how cute is that outfit!!! And the colours of the outfits go better together:

Of course, we aren’t going as the ‘male’ versions we will add our ‘girly’ input to make them more us but we have asked friends and family and they are torn so we are hoping that the blogging world may prove more useful J

Please post your vote opinion in the comments – we’d really appreciate your input!

One Wedding Dress or Two?

Since announcing our engagement last Christmas a few questions have been asked by pretty much everyone. The first is 'where are you getting married?' - that's easy to answer - Idaho! The second is 'oh why Idaho?' That's pretty easy to answer too - it's beautiful, picturesque, more likely to guarantee sunshine (fingers crossed) and most importantly, Laura's family and quite a few good friends are still there. The third question is then 'who is wearing the wedding dress?' That question is also easy to answer! Well, it is for us, but we thought we would expand on it here.

Our fitting rooms were next door!

The answer is 'both of us'. We will both be wearing full length, strapless wedding dresses in just off-white. We will both have veils and we will both walk down the aisle. That being said, the styles and design of the dresses and veils are very different so we get to keep our individuality and taste but we complement rather than clash with one another.

We have also been asked if we have seen each others' wedding dresses, and if you saw our post (HERE) about our wedding planning trip to Boise last summer you will know, the answer is YES we have. From the moment we started talking about our wedding we have always agreed that we both wanted to wear a dresses and as Laura is my best friend and me hers, who else would we want to go wedding dress shopping with?!

We both wear dresses on a daily basis, we both enjoy being girly and both of us grew up dreaming of our wedding dresses so for us the dress option was the only one we ever planned to take. Interestingly, when Laura and I first got together one of her reasons for only seeing our relationship as a 'short-term fling' was because she could never imagine actually marrying a woman. I understood that sentiment. It wasn't as if you often saw two feminine lesbians together, let alone marrying one another. When we did start looking into it we saw couples dressed identically and that did not appeal - we are way too different to agree on one dress and we wouldn't want to feel like we were 'marrying ourselves' or hear the 'who wore it better' that would inevitably happen?! - but eventually, through blogs and googling, we found more and more femme ladies pulling off weddings we could imagine having.

We weren't short of choices!

Laura's Mum joined us on the trip in Boise and my Mum will join us for our fitting in the UK twelve weeks beforehand, so thankfully they have/or will have been involved in the process, but ultimately we value each others' opinions on everything including wedding dresses. By seeing each others' we were also able to confirm that the colours and styles worked together - something we didn't want to wait to find out on the day!

Even the experience of shopping in David's Bridal together was great fun. The assistants -after they realised we were marrying each other and not just having weddings on the same day- saw the potential of a double sale and could not have been more helpful (extra surprising in a place like Idaho!). From suggesting styles to helping us into our dresses, the session turned into a girly party. We were excited to see each other in the different dresses, we were overwhelmed when we knew the other was wearing 'the one' and we will always remember it as a great experience. We were expecting trauma, tears and disappointment - we are both particular after all, but we got tears of joy, laughter and excitement. Not many couples get to share the experience, but we are so glad we did. As it will have been nine months by the time we get married since we last saw each other in them, combined with the makeup and hair, we will still get the overwhelming 'first look' experience on the day as well.

Even down to the bell ringing that we the store had as a tradition when you found the dress you would wear. Standing side by side, hand in hand we were told to close our eyes and imagine wearing the dress surrounded by friends and family on our wedding day- I burst into tears, Laura followed shortly after, at the thought that we were starting our journey to our happy ever after!