Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Valentine's Day Debate: Should Children Be Involved in VDay??

Happy Valentine's Day, loves!! 

Hope you've had a fantastic, wonderful, romantic day so far (and are having fun, whether you are attached or not!!) - Sarah has arranged a surprise, which Laura is absolutely not to know about, despite our ENTIRE office knowing already. Boo. So we are really excited for that!! And Laura may have a trick or two up her sleeve as well!! 

Valentine's Day is like Vegemite - you either love it or hate it. So unsurprisingly, the holiday spurred a massive 'debate' [read: argument] between your two favourite Sprezzaturans. So, we thought we'd share it with you, to see where you stand. Nothing like a good friendly debate once in awhile, is there? 
The background is, Sarah was shocked (and appalled) to learn that in the USA, in elementary (primary) schools, we make mailboxes and give a Valentine to everyone in our class. Laura was mortally offended that Sarah didn't support this tradition. And an argument (over instant messaging) (at work) ensued... 

Laura: Anyway, you give cards to everyone, so that way the unpopular kids don't get left out - I think it's nice.
Sarah: I just think it's unnecessary, not everyone is liked by everyone.
Laura:  It IS okay to not be liked by everyone - I was a shy nerd in school and would have been crushed not to receive anything - at that impressionable age, its important that kids receive positive reinforcement- knowing nobody liked me could have sent me into depression, and I would be a different person today.
I agree that it isn't a perfect system because of the bullies and such, but I think it's better that way than to leave out the kids who are a bit chubby or poor, and not as popular.
Sarah: That is true, but the same effect can be reached by banning V-day cards in schools -that way no-one is left out & parents don't have to spend money.
Laura: Then you'd end up like England, nobody appreciates holidays! I think there is nothing wrong with uniting young children and giving them positive reinforcement- Americans celebrate holidays well, and if you get rid of one, you can find reasons to get rid of all the others too - 4th of July could be offensive to Native Americans and English people, same with Thanksgiving, Christmas to the other religions, etc.
Sarah: Yeah, but I'm not looking to disagree on other holidays - I just think V-day should be left to the grown-ups rather than spreading essentially a commercialised event into schools. 
Laura: But why is this holiday different from any other? It's all commercialised! In the US we celebrate everything with the family- so why would we disinclude kids on this one instead of taking it as an opportunity to spread love and joy to the minds of little ones?
Sarah: Because you are enforcing 'love' - I understand doing it at Christmas - with the spirit of goodwill, but making people send love notes goes too far in my opinion.
Laura: I don't think you should only extend olive branches to people at Christmas- why not at all times of the year? Besides, they are pre-written- its not like you need to come up with a heartfelt message for your bully. I dont think any child has been worse off for giving a nice card to someone they don't like or who hasn't been nice to them.  It may even go the other way, and have them stop picking on them! And if you were to only give cards to your friends, then not only would less popular kids be left out, but they would be too nervous to give cards to the boy or girl they like, because it'd be too obvious, etc- I think it's a nice opportunity to put yourself out there without fear of rejection.
Sarah: I think it takes away the point of V-day.
Laura: Which is?
Sarah: To make the one you love feel special and loved, not everyone!
Laura: But as small children, I think everyone should feel special and loved!
Sarah: Me too, but not just on V-day.
Laura: But V-day is a good start- better a few times per year than never! Saying we should get rid of V-day because kids should be loving each other all the time is like Cynthia Nixon with the 'It shouldn't matter if it's a choice or not to be gay' thing - you shouldn't hold out the little bit of good because its not good enough, we don't live in an ideal world - it's cutting your nose off to spite your face.
Sarah: Fair point, I just don't believe kids should be subjected to such commercialisation, doing something 'en mass' takes away the point with something like this and will stop everyone of them feeling special. For example, if you really liked someone and they gave cards to EVERYONE you wouldn't feel special, you'd feel disappointed.  It misses the point majorly in my opinion.
Laura: I don't think it does- I think that would be the case as you get older, but as young children it shouldn't be about romance as much as friendship and self esteem. Love shouldn't be an adult emotion - kids need to learn how to love each other.
Sarah: I love you
Laura: Oh was that the end haha? Does that mean I win by default?
Sarah: We agree to disagree!
Laura: You cant disagree, you are planning to live there!

But (probably for the best) the conversation didn't continue. So - what are your thoughts?? We'd love to hear some different opinions! 

Happy Valentine's Day - we will let y'all know what we did on VDay, tomorrow!! 

Laura & Sarah xo


  1. I think the American tradition is cute....
    Hope you both a a lovely Valentine's xoxo

  2. As an awkward and often teased child in elementary school, I found that valentine's day was a nice thing for me. While the valentines that came from people who I wasn't friends with didn't mean much, the ones that did come from friends were special. I think children are smarter than we give credit for and honestly do they really celebrate V-day because it means love? No, they do it because it means candy. And if you don't have friends, isn't candy the next best alternative? Okay that was a joke, but seriously, if you want to talk about whether or not your spreading love and respect vs commercialism, think about this. Each child has to give EVERYBODY a valentine. That means I was giving valentines to people who were not kind to me and people who were kind to me. It was a small lesson in teaching respect towards people who are different. That is the real lesson I took away from V-day when I was a kid.

    1. Thanks for adding your thoughts Michael, I completely agree with you!! Also, Candy > Friends, right? ;)

      Laura xo

  3. Long time reader first time poster - love your stuff - keep up the good work. The lesbian community needs a role model right now to take us through these darkest days. Regarding your arg, the Nutmeister General is right on this one babes - the political correctness ape has gone mental, escaped from the zoo, and is chucking shit in the shape of dollar signs all over your face. And you are eating it up like it's a delicious meaty pie. Think on hunny.

  4. Funny thing is that, in Elementary School, it's all about the candy for the boys and the cards for the girls. Oh, and the kids pick out the good cards for their friends and the crap ones for the bullies - well that's what Laura did! :D Love you Lauraloo! xxxx


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