Vanity: excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit:
I wouldn’t generally call myself a vain person, hey there are some days I wouldn’t even call myself a person – more like a lounging sloth – but that is besides the point, right now I am suffering from a mild bout of vanity.
It was almost a year ago that Laura experienced the terrible trauma with the blind-spot in her eye (read all about it here) and thankfully the times that she needs to wear an eye patch and become a pirate are few and far between. If even she did rock it! Well last night we found ourselves back at the very same hospital where Laura was diagnosed except this time it was for me!
Last Wednesday I woke up to my eyes being incredibly bloodshot, I thought I may be over tired or a little hung over so I put my contacts in and continued on my day. By the time I got home my eyes were so red that I had been asked numerous times ‘what’s wrong, why are you upset?’ Thankfully they didn’t itch or sting so I thought it was maybe time to change my contacts – or leave them out for a few days. However that didn’t work and trip to the eye hospital was suggested.
This is where vanity kicks in for me! I dislike, nay hate wearing my glasses, it brings up a whole bunch of weird emotions that I never feel at any other time and I don’t like it. In the instance of putting on my glasses I feel defensive, like I’m missing out and ugly. I have no idea why but looking at myself in glasses is worse than looking in the mirror after days of illness. And my glasses aren't even that bad!
This pretty much sums it up:
I feel like I am the 7 year old kid that was devastated that I would have to sit out of certain sports in case my glasses broke or had to sit at the front of the class just to see. But here is the weird thing: no-one remembers me wearing glasses at school! How is it that the event was SO big for me but no-one else noticed? I mean there are no photos, my Mum and Dad both said they gave up making me wear them as I would ‘lose’ them so frequently yet some 20 years later I remember hating my glasses!
Moreover if I wear my glasses over a long period of time I get headaches behind my ears, I have a new pair on order, but the ones I currently have are doing my head in. Then there is the constantly slipping off my nose, the act of pushing them back on at least matches my nickname of swot (extra clever, suck up J) at work.
When L& I are alone and we are both wearing our glasses I do have less of an issue but still I get frustrated when I can’t find things or at having to clean my lenses. I honestly can’t believe how contact lenses changed my life. Talking to a colleague this morning I likened discovering contact lenses as learning to drive – it gives you freedom and a new perspective!
So while I sit here and feel a bit too ugly to be out in the world I will give myself a good talking to and hold my head up high, at least with antibiotics and steroids for my eyes they should be on the mend and I won’t continue to look upset for no reason!
In 20 years of glasses wearing this is the ONLY photo of me wearing them that I actually like, but that maybe more about the hat and the fact I have a tan!