Earlier this week I was catching up on the blogs we follow, when I came across a very interesting post from Jena at Recently Roached about something I’d never heard of before – Love Languages.
Jena said in her post that it was something she was taught in her Christian sorority - that there are five different ways of showing love to your significant other, and each person values these ways differently. I had never come across it before, but I thought it was a great idea!
Sarah and I have been together (almost) 4 years now, and we think we know each other well, but I decided we were going to do an experiment. We took the five languages and ordered them according to what we thought the other valued most to least (so I did Sarah’s, and she did mine) – we recorded those findings.
Then, we each took the 30 question test (changing the word ‘husband’ to ‘girlfriend’, of course), and recorded our own results.
Comparing what our partner thought we found most important to what we actually found most important (and so on) was eye opening.
While we both got the two most valued languages to the other one correct, in the middle is where we could learn the most –
Sarah learned that while she thinks I value her ‘acts of service’ quite a bit, I’d much rather if she showed me she loved me by physically touching me or telling me. We can always do the acts of service together and turn them into quality time!
And I learned that though I would think acts of service was higher on Sarah’s list because she is always nagging me to do my part ;D in fact whats important to her is that we both do the work to get it done so we can spend more quality time together – and that I can never tell her that I love her too many times.
Finally, we both learned that we value similar things – is this how we've gotten on so well thus far, with a ‘treat others as you’d like them to treat you’ attitude? Well now we will continue to do the same, but with more awareness of what would make each other feel even better than they do now!
It’s only been four days, but the Love Languages test has already made a difference in our relationship - click HERE to try it out with your partner!
Oh and PS: